


Rescued From Shadows

by Silentx13



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Aftermath, Aftermath of Torture, Angband, Angst, Best Friends, Blood and Gore, Elves, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Feanorainweek2020, FeanorianWeek, Fingolfin is a good uncle, Fingon is a great friend, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friendship, Graphic Description, Hallucinations, Healing, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Injury Recovery, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Torture, Past Violence, Poor Maedhros, Post-Rescue from Thangorodrim, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Quenya, Recovery, Rescue, Thangorodrim, Torture, Violence, What Have I Done, fingon rescues maedhros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-01-02 07:16:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 30,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21157733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silentx13/pseuds/Silentx13
Summary: Fingon braved the challenge and went to rescue his friend from shadows and darkness beyond all imagination. Yet, even though he did bring his friend out of the physical world of shadows, yet the one in his mind is far darker and the road to healing is a long and slippery path.





	1. Chapter 1

Fingon pulled his cloak closer to his shoulders. These mountains were hot, but there was a chill in the air that made it even worse. Fingon could not tell if he wanted to melt or freeze. He took a long breath as he continued walking. He had stopped singing a while ago since his voice began to hurt, he shook his head as he walked. He had to find him! He had to find Maedhros!

After another long set of walking, he began singing again. He quieted his song as he heard a reply. It was quiet and in a broken voice. It was hoarse and Fingon froze as he heard the voice. “Maedhros,” He whispered and hurried to where he heard it. He turned the corner and gasped as he stopped short. He froze in place as he looked up bound to the high cliffs was Maedhros. He was broken and bloodied, Fingon put a hand to his mouth and walked forward. 

He could clearly see some wounds from down here. One of his feet were angled in a strange direction. He saw how the ankle was swelled up and bruised. He saw the discoloration on his right shoulder as he hung by it. It looked badly bruised and he clearly saw Maedhros shivering horribly. His brain didn't or rather couldn’t process anymore as called out again.

Maedhros’s head shifted slightly and he looked down at Fingon. “Finno? You…please if you’re real...please...kill me. It hurts. Please…” He begged his eyes looking at Fingon. His eyes were dark and held no light. 

Fingon took an arrow from his bow and looked over Maedhros. He shook his head and said, “I can’t! I can’t kill you!” 

“Finno. Please.” Maedhros begged. He hung his head and moved it slowly from side to side. “It hurts...I just want it to stop.” 

Fingon swallowed and looked at Maedhros as he notched an arrow. He raised it up and his hands shook slightly as he looked at Maedhros. He shut his eyes tightly and felt tears sting them as he looked back up at him. “O King to whom all birds are dear, speed now this feathered shaft, and recall some pity for the Noldor in their need!" He said in a low whisper as he tried to steady his hand. Yet, his hand faltered and his bow fell to the ground. He couldn't...He couldn't hurt or kill Maedhros. His closest friend since before he could remember. 

Fingon clenched his fist and he whispered one last, “please...don't abandoned us completely...help him...that's all I ask.”

He then gasped and said up as a great Eagle swooped down from the sky. He jumped back quickly realized that Manwe did not forget all his pity towards them. He quickly climbed onto the eagle’s back and it swooped into the sky and flew to be right in front of Maedhros. Fingon swallowed hard as he saw the full extent of his friend’s torture or at least more, a lot was covered in dried blood and dirt. His body was thin...too thin. He wore just a think pair of pants that were tatted and stained with blood. His hair was tattered, matted, and cut at odd angles. As if someone too a knife to it. It was darker than he remembered it no longer had a fiery light. Also, a few strands in the front were a silvery-white color. His blue eyes were clouded with pain and darkness. His left air was torn slightly and he had a horrible wound on the left side of his face. Fingon covered his mouth slightly at the horror that was inflicted upon his friend. Even though he saw more of the torture he still couldn’t prosses it all. He quickly moved to the bound around his wrist and he looked at it. 

It was just a thin thing of metal that cut deep into Maedhros’s wrist. There was no keyhole or anything that may unlock it. He drew his dagger and tried to cut at the chain that grasped the cuff around his arm. Yet, it did nothing, it barely cut it. He stopped as he felt a slight tug on the edge of his cloak. He looked down at Maedhros’s weak expression. 

“It’s...no...use.” He said slowly trying too hard to speak clearly. “Please. Just kill me. There is no hope...I did-what they did. Please. Just end it.” 

“No! Nelyo! You are my best friend! _ Inyë mel-ldë, _ ” He said. “Please. Just stay with me, _ ninya málo, _ ” 

Maedhros looked at him with a hopeless expression and just closed his eyes. Fingon looked back at his wrist bound cruelly to the metal. He couldn’t cut into the metal. That would do nothing and he had to get Maedhros to a healer. He was practically at the doors of Mando’s Halls. The idea struck Fingon as he realized what he had to do. He looked at Maedhros and slid off his cloak and wrapped it around his friend’s weak frame. “Nelyo.” He said speaking softly. “I am sorry. This will hurt, a lot. So, please just stay still. It will be over soon.” 

He then wrapped one arm around Maedhros and with his free hand, he positioned his dagger over Maedhros’s arm. He felt Maedhros tense and grip onto him as tightly as he could as he realized what Fingon had to do. Fingon looked down at Maedhros who nodded slightly and shut his eyes. Fingon looked to his arm and slid the dagger forward. 

Maedhros let out a slight scream of pain as the dagger dug into his skin. He gripped Fingon tightly and buried his face into his chest breathing harshly. Fingon held him close as he continued to cut into his wrist. Within a few seconds though Maedhros fell forward and Fingon caught him. Maedhros was half caught in a scream of pain and shaking. Fingon moved Maedhros to lay down and ripped part of his cloak and wrapped it tightly around the bleeding stump. 

He looked at this great eagle and it began flying off towards where the others where. Fingon then looked back to Maedhros who had fallen unconscious. He was shaking and Fingon moved him close as he wrapped his cloak around him tighter. 

_ “Shhh. Sa níra horya-mai, sina mala-mendë sinta-oa”  _ Fingon said softly to him. He continued to speak softly to him in Quenya as they flew. Hoping he heard him and hoping he’ll be alright. 

He looked up as the eagle landed. He got off and carefully guided Maedros off who was still unconscious. He rushed forward holding Maedhors. “A HEALER!” He shouted. “I need a healer!” 

**Glossary: **

_ Quenya-  _

_ Inyë mel-ldë - I love (as friend) you _

_ ninya málo - my friend _

_ Sa níra metta mai, sina mala-mendë sinta-oa - it will end well, this hurt/pain will fade away _


	2. Chapter 2

Fingon sat outside the room the healers had Maedhros in. He sat leaning against the wall, he let out a long breath. He was tried. He looked at his clothes that were still slightly splattered with blood. He sighed, ignoring it and looked at the ceiling. He sat forward and looked down the hall as he heard running footsteps. Maglor came over panting slightly as he came to a stop outside the healer’s wing. 

“Nelyo...how...how is he?” He asked in between breaths. 

“I am sorry,” Fingon replied as he stood up. “From what I saw, he was not doing well. Yet, the healers are doing everything they can.” 

Maglor turned and reached for the door but Fingon stopped him by grabbing his arm. “Please. Wait.” He said. “The healers need time to work on helping him. We must be patient.” 

Maglor opened his mouth but closed it. Fingon sat back down and Maglor joined him. Another few hours passed and then the door opened and the head healer stepped out. The two elves jumped up instantly, Maglor was the first to speak. In a rushed voice, he asked, “How is he?”

“Not good my lord,” The healer replied. “His wounds are great. I can not list them all now but he is going to require much rest.”

“Is he awake?” Fingon asked.

“No. He woke up slightly as we were cleaning wounds. He seemed rather frightened as if he was stuck in a nightmare. So he wouldn't injure himself any further we had to sedate him.” She answered folding her hands a bit.

“Sedated?” Maglor asked. 

The healer nodded and said, “Yes. I assume that he thought he was still with the enemy,” 

Maglor nodded with his face going a ghostly white, Fingon just turned to the healer and asked, “When will he wake up?”

“In a few hours,” She replied. “One more thing my lord, he called your name a few times. So, it may be best if you come inside to sit with him.” 

Fingon nodded and gast a glance at Maglor who was doing his best to calm himself down. After a few moments, Maglor looked up at her and asked, “Can I come in too?” 

“I am sorry my Lord,” She said. “Yet, the fewer visitors and less action he has the better. After he wakes up you can come to see him.” 

Maglor nodded and looked down. He looked upset and worried about his brother. Fingon placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle nod. Maglor waited aginst the wall as Fingon walked into the room. Maglor frowned as he stayed there he looked up as the door closed. 

* * *

Fingon looked around as the healers were cleaning up, the room was covered in bloody clothes and bandages. He saw the healers moving water-filled bowls that were tainted with blood away as well. He looked to the large bed Maedhros was on. He was fast asleep and Fingon froze a bit as he saw his friend. He was half-covered by a blanket and the rest of him was covered by a new shirt that was a bit oversized. Yet, the rest of him that he could see was covered in bandages. His right arm was wrapped all around his hand. His left arm was in a sling around his neck, he saw that the stub was freshly bandaged. Half of his face was wrapped in bandages as well, he could not see what other bandages but he could tell he was covered in them. His face was contorted slightly in pain and discomfort. 

“Oh. Nelyo,” He said softly as he walked over. “What’s wrong with him?” 

“Several severe wounds. He has a few broken ribs and his right shoulder is dislocated. His foot is broken and will take a while to heal. His whole body is covered in wounds, bruises, and scratches.” The healer said. “As well as we think he possibly has a few different poisons in his body...unfortunately we do not know what and it will take a bit to figure out. As well as we did have to drug him a bit for both his pain and the fact that when he woke up, he got very frightened...he was close to injuring himself more so...we had to drug him.” The healer said. 

“He was drugged?” Fingon asked. 

She nodded and said, “Yes, we hope when he wakes up he’ll be calmed down. It may have been the drug that made him frightened.” 

Fingon nodded and looked back at his cousin. He frowned a bit as he sat down beside Maedhros’s bed, he looked at him with concern. He put a hand on his friend’s uninjured shoulder, yet, once he put his hand on his shoulder Maedhros winced in his sleep. He pulled away unconsciously in his sleep moaning softly. Fingon pulled his hand back and Maedhros calmed a bit. He frowned as he watched him, his heart ached for him. He did not look like his strong friend, he looked weak and scared. Even with his clothes and the blanket he could tell Maedhros was too thin. He also knew it from when he went to go rescue him, his body was too thin. It was obvious that the healers did not know everything that was wrong with him. 

“He’s bleeding again!” Fingon said suddenly he looked down seeing the blood-stained blanket. The head healer rushed over calling someone over to help. They moved up his shirt and grabbed some fresh clothes along with fresh bandages. Maedhros moaned and shifted uncomfortable moaning in his sleep. He seemed to be very uncomfortable as the healers worked. Fingon frowned as he looked away from Maedhros to the healers. He covered his mouth as he saw Maedhros’s wound, the skin on his side was torn up. He saw a mess of flesh. It was mashed and torn up as the blood poured out of the wound. The healers worked to patch the wound up and Fingon covered his mouth. He felt bad that he did not see the extent of his wound. Once the blood was cleaned away and was stopped, they put some salve as well and bandaged the wound. Fingon looked back at Maedhros and frowned. He was still moaning softly, he shifted and moaned some more. The healers finished and moved away and Maedhros settled down after they moved away. His body still seemed to be tense as he slept and Fingon just settled back and looked at the blankets. They would have to change them later when Maedhros woke up. 

* * *

Maedhros groaned softly and his eyes fluttered open. He blinked and was slightly confused as to why he was laying down. He was in Thangorodrim wasn’t he? Yet, where was he? He blinked slightly as he let his right hand rub against the soft blanket. It was so soft and comfortable. He rubbed his hand along the blanket. Yet, he stiffened as he felt someone else by the bed. His eyes shifted around a bit as he looked around. His eyes fell on the person who sat beside the bed he was in, he looked at them and stiffened. He blinked though as he looked at them. “Finno?” He asked softly his voice just above a whisper. 

“Nelyo,” Fingon said as he was aroused from his sleep. He looked at Maedhros with a soft smile. His cousin looked back at him with a confused expression before he froze. “Wait...no...no.” He muttered moving away a bit. 

“Nelyo?” Fingon asked with concern. “What’s wrong?” 

“A-a-are you...are real-l?” Maedhros mumbled. 

“What? Of course,” He replied gently. “It’s me,” 

Maedhros looked at him with distrust and concern. Fingon frowned a bit and asked, “What’s wrong?” 

Maedhros looked away and shut his eyes tightly. Fingon knelt by the bed, he looked at him and asked gently, “do you want me to prove it?” 

Maedhros stopped and looked over, he gave a tiny nod and Fingon smiled softly. “When I was little, I called you Mayo since I could not pronounce your name. Your brothers thought it was funny, Uncle Feanor always yelled at my father when I did.” He said. Maedhros smiled slightly and swallowed a bit. “Finno,” He said softly. “Your-r you-u.” He mumbled softly.

“Of course I am me,” Fingon said gently he reached out and Maedhros yelped slightly. He jerked his arm out and slapped his arm away. Yet, he yelled in pain and fell back his hand grabbed his shoulders. He froze though as he looked down at his right arm. He could barely move his right arm and his hand...was gone. He sat there frozen as Fingon moved over, “Meadhros?” He asked. 

His cousin didn’t reply though. He looked at his hand and then at Maedhros. He gently reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. Maedhros looked up freezing as he looked at Fingon, he pulled his shoulder back. “Please…” He said softly. “I-don’t...don’t.” 

“I am sorry but please know I won’t hurt you,” Fingon said gently. Fingon then looked at Maedhros’s arm which hung limply at his side. “Yet, I am trying to help you. At least let me help you get your arm back into the sling.

Maedhros shook his head and closed his eyes. He fumbled over his words incoherently as he spoke, he swallowed and shook his head. He looked down and closed his eyes and sniffed a bit. Fingon frowned and said, “Please. Let me help you.”

Maedhros shook his head and slowly moved his arm back into the sling. He winced in pain as he did so, his face contorted in pain. “It….it really hurts,” He mumbled.

“I am really sorry,” Fingon said. “Do you want me to get a healer? They can give some medican-” 

“No!” Maedhros blurted out. He then paled a bit and shook his head. “Please no,” He said quietly looking down. “No…” 

Fingon frowned and said, “Okay. Do you want to get some sleep?” 

Maedhros shook his head and slowly moved back to lean against the pillows. He was quiet for some time and softly, “It’s soft…”

“What?” Fingon asked.

“It's soft...the pillows...and blankets.” He said running his figured along the bed. 

Fingon chuckled a little and said, “Good. If you get cold I can grab you more blankets.”

Maedhros became quiet as he lay there, he looked at Fingon and asked, “C-”C-can I...hav-ee one...to...hold?”

Maedhros seemed slightly embarrassed and worried by asking this. Fingon just smiled and said, ”Of course you can.” With that he stood up and grabbed a plush blanket from a stack of them that was by the closet door. He walked over and gently laid it on his left side. Maedhros reached out and wrapped his arm around it. He pressed his face into the blanket a bit and a very small smile came to his face.

“Oh. Nelyo,” Fingon said standing up. Causing the injured elf to jerk slightly to the side, he looked over at Fingon who said, “Maglor may still be outside waiting for you to wake up. Do you want me to go get him?”

Maedhros’s smile faded and was replaced with a look of concern. He shook his head gently saying, “no.” Fingon frowned a bit and asked, “Do you want anyone to visit you?” 

The grip on the blanket tightened a bit as he lay there. He shook his head a little bit, “no...no.” He mumbled. 

Fingon nodded and stood up. “Okay. I can go then if you want some alone time,” He offered. 

Maedhros shook his head and Fingon felt an ache in his heart. His cousin looked so confused laying there. It seemed he didn’t want anyone to visit him but also he did not want to be left alone. Maedhros frowned deeply and tried to go through the thoughts in his head but he couldn’t. He winced and slowly moved his hand up to hold his head. He mumbled softly saying nothing coherently. Fingon just bent down by Maedhros and gently asked, “How about this, I will stay with you for a bit and if anyone wants to visit you they’ll see me first. Then I ask you if you want visitors?” 

Maedhros looked at him and nodded a bit after a few moments of thinking about it. He then moved the chair closer and sat down. Maedhros said nothing as he settled back and judging by his face it seemed he wasn’t thinking that much as well. Fingon, however, was lost in thought, he was concerned for Maedhros. His strong, brave cousin looked horrible. His wounds were just one part of the issue as time moved on Fingon saw that it wasn’t just external. His mind was fragile as well, Fingon was not sure how fragile but chances were it was high. Fingon just sighed and sat back. He’ll talk to the healers when Maedhros falls back asleep. 

“Maedhros?” Fingon asked 30 minutes passed of sitting there with nothing happening. He saw his cousin wince slightly and look over. 

“Are you tried? I know you arrested earlier but you still seem exhausted, do you want to sleep a bit?” He offered. 

Maedhros looked puzzled. “I-i...can?” He asked softly. 

Fingon hid his reaction and said, “Of course you can,” 

Maedhros nodded and shifted some sinking deeper under the blankets. After a few moments, he fell asleep and Fingon stood up. He reached to pull the blankets up but stopped not wanting to startle Maedhros. Yet, as he was asleep now Fingon stood up and quietly left the room to speak to the healers. 


	3. Chapter 3

“So you can not be sure what happened to him?” Fingon asked looking at the head healer. She sighed a bit and moved a few strands of hair that covered her face. “It’s hard to say, we are not sure how much is the drug that’s still in his system or how much damage they did to his mind. Then as for wounds, that’s a whole other story. They are bad, they can start bleeding again and we have to change the bandages regularly...I know you told us that he seems hesitant to take any medication but he may have to. It’ll make sure he’ll stay healthy.” 

Fingon sighed and sat down across from her. They had been speaking for a while but nothing being said was being helpful at all. They still did not know how to help Maedhros, summed up they just said just heal. “Alright. Just do what you can, yet, I can take care of the-” Yet, he was cut off by a scream that echoed from the other room. He jumped up with the healer and ran across the hall and threw open the door. Fingon came to a sharp stop as he found Maedhros laying on the floor withering in pain. He was pretty sure he did see blood but he had no idea where it was coming from. He signed for the healer to stay there and he approached Maedhros slowly. 

“Nelyo?” He asked softly as bent down beside him. Maedhros shivered and looked at Fingon with confused eyes. 

Fingon pushed his emotions off to the side as he said, “Nelyo. I have to get you back onto the bed, you have a broken foot. You can not do it yourself.” 

Maedhros just looked dazed and confused as he lay there. Fingon put a hand on Maedhros’s shoulder and he yelped. His eyes darted to look at Fingon with surprise and slight horror. Fingon did not remove his hand though, he just rubbed, small gentle circle on his shoulder. “Nelyo. I am not going to hurt you. Please, trust me.” He said gently. “I can help you. Just trust me...Mayo.” 

Maedhros blinked after a moment and nodded a bit. Fingon then quickly moved to moved Maedhros into a sitting position and then lifted him up. Maedhros was like a ragdoll in his arms as Fingon moved him toa chair in the room. He was extremely careful with Maedhros’s foot as he did this, he did not want to move him to the bed just yet. He wanted the sheets changed since some of them were stained with blood. “Just wait right here,” Fingon said gently to Maedhros. 

He stood up and went to head healer, “Get me what I need to patch up one of his wounds. I do not think he’ll be okay with anyone else being near him.” 

“Very well,” The healer said. “Should I get some servents to change the sheets for the bed?” 

“Yes,” Fingon said with a nod before turning back to Maedhros and kneeling beside him. Once again he chose to speak softly to him in Quenya. Telling him it was going to be okay and things were fine. Fingon did his best to hold back his emotions, he was worried sick about Maedhros. He barely even looked the same as he once did. He just seemed...empty. 

Fingon then looked up as someone came over with a tray filled with the things Fingon needed. He nodded his thanks as they moved away. Maedhros tensed a bit as Fingon began looking for the wound that opened up. “Do not worry, _ ninya málo. _ ” He said gently as it took a few moments to realize the bleeding was coming from his back.

“Okay. Nelyo, move forward just a little.” He said as he moved Maedhros forward. “It’s just a small wound on your back. I am going to patch it up alright?” 

Maedhros made no reply but he did relax slightly with Fingon. His cousin just sighed and said, “Alright. I am going to patch it up now.” 

Maedhros still said nothing as he sat by Fingon who carefully cleaned the wound and rebandaged it gently. He was a bit tense as Fingon moved his hands a bit more but stayed a bit calm as Fingon just spoke to him softly. When he was finshed he moved his shirt back down and sat back down on his heels. He rested for a moment before standing up and helped Maedhros up once more. His cousin leaned into him as he helped him tot he bed.

“There,” Fingon said once Maedhros was seated on the soft mattress. “Nelyo. Your clothes are slightly dirty...do you want some fresh ones?” Fingon offered gently. 

Maedhros looked a bit suprised by the question and then slowly nodded. Fingon smiled as he stood up and walked to the closet. After a few moments, he came back to Maedhros holding a fresh change of clothes. He put it by Maedhros and said, “Here we go.” 

Maedhros looked up at Fingon and stared into his face. He opened his mouth and slowly closed it. Fingon knelt in front of him. “Maedhros. I am here for you,” He said. “Whatever you need just ask.” 

“Help?” Maedhros asked softly as he looked at the pile of clothes next to him. Fingon felt a bit more of him shatter as a look of embarrassment spread across his face. He then ducked his head as Fingon was quiet for a few moments. Maedhros despite being just confused and dazed, he knew that he needed help with this. Yet he knew Fingon...this Fingon will help him and won’t do anything to hurt him. This Fingon was his  _ málo  _ and he always had been.

Maedhros slightly jerked out of his thoughts as Fingon put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at him and Fingon offered him a smile. Maedhros tried a smile and titled his head to the side. Fingon chuckled softly said, “Okay. Let’s get you in some fresh clothes.” 

Maedhros nodded slowly and let Fingon help him take his shirt off. Fingon froze for a moment as he saw how many bandages were wrapped around Maedhros. His right arm was covered completely in bandages, there was heavier bandaging by his shoulder. His left arm was also bandaged all over, more so my his upper arm and his wrist. His chest and stomach were completely covered along with his neck. Fingon hid his reaction as he helped Maedhros put on his new shirt. 

Maedhros seemed to melt a bit as he felt the soft fabric once more. Fingon chuckled softly as Maedhros snuggled into his sweater. “There you go,” He said. “Do you need help with the pants?” 

Maedhros nodded and Fingon helped Maedhros up a bit and then changed. Maedhros then let Fingon move him back. He sank back into the pillows and looked at Fingon, “I’m-m glade. Your your-r-r you...and here.” He mumbled. 

Fingon just smiled and said, “Me too. Get some rest Nelyo,” 

Maedhros nodded a little and closed his eyes. Fingon moved a chair over and leaned forward and took a book from a shelf. He sat by the bed and read quietly. He did not want to leave Maedhros’s side while he was like this. His friend looked so confused and hurt. Fingon wished to Eru Ilúvatar that Maedhros would be okay. That he could help his cousin, he lowered the book and gazed at him. Maedhros’s face was not calm...it was scrunched up in pain. 

Fingon just closed the book and moved the chair closer to his cousin. He looked to Maedhros who looked uncomfortable but so far he was sleeping calmly. So far.

**Glossary: **

**Quenya**

ninya málo - my friend 

málo - friend


	4. Chapter 4

Fingon must have drifted off since when he opened his eyes he heard screaming. He jumped up and hurried over to Maedhros who was tossing in the bed waving his left arm. “Nelyo.” He said gently and took his arm slowly moving it down. 

  
“Nelyo. Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Just calm down.” He said softly as Maedhros opened his eyes. His eyes darted to look at Fingon and tried to pull his arm away terrified. Fingon let go of his arm and held up his hands. Maedhros pulled his arm close to him and hugged it close to his body. He shook his head and hung his head shivering. 

“Nelyo. You’re okay...you’re safe.” He said gently to him. “You are safe.” 

Maedhros swallowed and flinched as Fingon placed a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head hard and said, “N-n-no...don’t.” 

Fingon moved his hand and said, “Nelyo. Just breath. You are safe and okay.” 

Maedhros shivered and moved a bit away. He slowly looked up and looked at Fingon. “Safe?” He asked softly. 

“Yeah. You are safe,” Fingon said gently. “You are going to be just fine.” 

Maedhros looked at Fingon and nodded slowly. He moved back and relaxed his shoulders and let Fingon move the blanket back over him. Maedhros looked at Fingon again and then back down. Fingon just got up and went to the table set up in the room and got a glass of water. He brought it over and said, “Here you go.” 

  
Maedhros looked at the glass with slight suspicion and then at Fingon. His cousin offered a smile and said, “It’s just water, Nelyo.” 

  
He offered it to Maedhros again placing it near his left hand. Maedhros slowly took it and drank little sips slowly. Almost as if he wasn’t going to get anymore in a while. Fingon swallowed a sigh and smiled gently at Maedhros. He moved his legs and folded them on the bed and asked, “Nelyo?” 

Maedhros looked up slightly still clutching the cup close to him. Fingon waited a moment before he started up again. “You woke up rather startled...did you have a nightmare?” He asked gently. 

  
Maedhros bit his bottom lip and turned away. Fingon continued a little more gently, “It is okay. I am asking since I want to know if you want to talk about it. It may help.” 

Maedhros shook his head and curled in on himself as much as his wounds would allow. Fingon nodded and said, “Okay. If you do want to talk about it. I am right here.” 

  
Maedhros managed a little nod before turning back towards the cup in his hand. Fingon stayed there and started to overthink again. He was beyond concerned for Maedhros who was a mess, he needed the healers to come back in and have another look but with Maedhros like this, he doubted he would let anyone come near him besides for people he didn’t trust. Currently, it seemed like he was the only person who he did trust. Fingon ran a hand through his hair deciding that when he could he would speak with a healer about it. 

  
A sudden knock on the door caused Maedhros to jump and looked up like a startled cat. Fingon turned to the door and stood up. “No,” Maedhros said moving closer to Fingon. 

His cousin turned to him and said, “I am just going to see who it is. I am not going anywhere,” 

  
Maedhros looked at the door and back at Fingon then to the door once more. He didn’t move but dropped his head to look at his cup of water that still was half full. He held it close to him possessively. Fingon just walked to the door and he found Maglor on the other side. 

“Is Maedhros awake?” He asked keeping his voice soft. 

“Yes. I can ask if he wants to see anyone,” Fingon replied. Maglor nodded as the door closed again and Fingon moved back to Maedhros who was looking at the door. 

“Nelyo?” Fingon asked. “Maglor is outside...do you want to speak with him?” 

Maedhros looked up and then at the door. He frowned slightly and looked at Fingon. His friend smiled gently at him and said, “If you do not want to see anyone it’s fine.” 

  
Maedhros nodded slowly and moved close to the pillows and kept his head down. “Okay. I’ll tell him but Nelyo?” 

Maedhros looked up slightly and Fingon continued, “He’ll be worried about you. So I’ll just step outside for a little bit and talk to him. Alright?” 

Maedhros looked hesitant but eventually, he nodded slightly. Fingon smiled and nodded at him and walked back to the door and stepped outside. As Fingon was gone Maedhros curled up a drop more. He stared at his cup blankly. A part of his mind knew he was safe that he wasn’t with them anymore. That he was home and was safe. Yet, the other part of his mind that seemed far stronger than any logic screamed at him that he wasn’t safe. That anyone who walked in or spoke to him was just another trick or illusion that he shouldn’t trust them. That everything was just another trick. He should just go back into his mind to that small place where no one could hurt him. It would be safe there...wouldn’t it? 

  
He frowned and shook his head harshly. No! This wasn’t a trick! Fingon was there real this time and he was helping him. It’s not a trick...is it? No...but maybe before he thought it wasn’t a trick so maybe this time it was a trick. Maedhros dropped the glass and gripped his head with his left hand as if it would help somehow. He shook his head and he curled up as the area around him changed in his eyes to a cell that was both too hot and too cold. 

A smell that wasn’t there overwhelmed him and he staggered out of the bed falling on the floor having forgotten about his broken ankle. He whimpered and curled up on the floor and pressed himself half under the bed. 

The door opened and once Maedhors fell to the floor since when he did the glass shatter across the floor. Fingon rushed over to Maedhros. 

  
“Nelyo,” Fingon said gently but voice filled with concern. Maedhros pulled away letting out a broken whine of pain and fear. 

“Nelyo. It’s me,” Fingon said. Maglor stood behind with fear and concern for his brother. He had to be okay...he just had to be. Maedhros shook his head and moved his left arm over his face and head protectively. 

Fingon turned to Maglor and said, “Get one of the healers...we...we have to drug him to get him back on the bed and help some of the wounds.” 

  
The fall to the floor and opened a few of them and caused more pain to flare through his body. Maglor looked at Fingon and then at Maedhros. He gave a nod and hurried to find one, Fingon then turned to Maedhros and said, “Maedhros...can you hear me? It’s Fingon...it’s Finno.” 

  
Maedhros shook his head and curled in on himself some more. Fingon just shook his head and sat there waiting for a healer to come. A few moments a healer came and it took slight force to get Maedhros to take the medicine but after a few more moments and struggling Maedhros just fell into their arms completely drained and now asleep. Once they got him on the bed the healer took care of his reopened wounds. 

  
Fingon just stood off to the side with Maglor. Both of them looked sick with fear and concern for Maedhors. Fingon shook his head and leaned back. 

“Hey. He will be okay...won’t he? He’s strong,” Maglor said sounding like a scared elfling. 

“I-Yes. He has to be,” Fingon said faking strength into his voice. 

Maglor just nodded and said, “Thank you...I have to go tell our other brothers about how he’s doing.” 

“Right-Wait. Maglor.” He said. Maglor stopped and looked at him. 

  
“Can you get my father for me? I do not want to leave Maedhors alone and-” Maglor cut off the elf who was about to start rambling. 

  
“I will,” he said and headed off. 

Fingon just nodded and looked back at Maedhors who was breathing heavily on the bed. He just leaned back and watched him. He was going to help his friend get better...no matter what. He owned Maedhros that much. 


	5. Chapter 5

Fingon was in a chair watching Maedhros breath deeply. His chest rising and falling slowly, his pale face empty of emotion. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back. He was worn out but he had to focus on helping Maedhros, he could worry about himself later.

He lifted his head as he heard the door open and he stood when he saw his father enter with Maglor. His father looked over at Maedhros and gave a worried frown towards the red-haired elf. Yet, the look of Maglor’s face was heartbreaking, he just looked at his brother with fear, concern, pain, and regret. Fingolfin put a hand on his shoulder and Maglor just shook his head and pulled away.

“I will try to talk to him,” Fingon said walking over to them. “I can try to convince him to see you.” 

“No. When he’s ready,” Maglor said with a shake of his head.

Fingolfin nodded and said, “Fingon, you wanted to speak with me?”

“Right. I-” Yet he was cut off by Maedhros who started to scream and thrash about. Fingon hurried over to try to calm him down.

“Easy, it’s okay,” Fingon said. “Everything is okay.”

* * *

_“Come on. Wake up, little kinslayer,” A cruel voice purred causing Maedhros’s eyes to open. He froze once his eyes opened as standing before him was Mairon grinning like a snake._

_“No...Fingon...he saved me,” Maedhros whispered shaking his head._

_“Oh? You have seemed to have forgotten I have many masks I can wear,” Mairon said. His face faded away and in its place was Fingon. Maedhros shook his head closing his eyes causing the Maiar to laugh._

_“Ah! You did forget but perhaps a different face would be better for today,” Mairon said as he knelt down and when Maedhros opened his eyes again he felt the color drain from his face. Staring back at him was Maglor._

_“No...he said I was safe...he was real. This is not real...it’s not real,” Maedhros said shutting his eyes again tightly. Repeating the words over and over again as if it would make it true. Yet, a kick to his stomach drove him back to his reality. Maedhros coughed and slowly looked up to see Maglor looking down at him with Marion’s cruel smile._

_“Perhaps it’s not real but what is real then? Can you really say?” Mairon asked his voice a mockery to his brother’s. Maedhros just bit his lip and turned his head away but his head was jerked back to face Marion’s gaze._

_“Come now…you know this is real. You can’t escape me. Little kinslayer,” Mairon said gripping his face tightly and wrapping his other hand around his neck squeezing tightly. Maedhros gasped and struggled, trying to get free so he could breathe. He felt a sharp pain in his neck as Mairon dug his nails in and a broken quiet scream came out._

_“Now. Do you remember?” Mairon asked. “And I will need a vocal answer.”_

_“Y-yes,” Maedhros gasped out._

_“That’s good. Now that you remember and you are awake. We can continue from where we left off.” Mairon said standing up and walking over picking a long pole and he twirled it around before grabbing the end and letting the metal heat up until it glowed red._

_Marion smirked as he walked back over still wearing Maglor’s face as he brought the pole up. Maedhros’s struggles intensified until thud sound and everything became a white haze._

* * *

Maedhros blinked as he looked around seeing the bedroom. He moved his head to the other side and stiffened as he saw Fingon on the floor holding his jaw with his father and Maglor helping him up. Maedhros looked at his hands and then back at Fingon then right back to his hands.

“I am fine,” Fingon said waving them off. He moved over to Maedhros and moved away as much as the blankets allowed. “Stay away.” He said shakily.

“Nelyo. It’s okay, it is me.” Fingon said.

Maedhros shook his head and moved further back till the point he was where the bed met the wall. He shut his eyes tightly and wrapped his left arm around him. “Just stay away,” He repeated.

“Nelyo. You are safe, no one is going to hurt you here.” Fingolfin said gently as he stepped forward. Despite the problems he had with Feanor he will not place his frustrations with him on his sons. Besides, he knew Neylo since he was a young elf and as he grew up they always had a good relationship.

Maedhros opened an eye slightly and peeked through the hair that had fallen in front of his face. He bit his lip slightly as he looked at Fingolfin who was holding his hands up. Fingon was standing beside him with a very small red mark on his jaw and Maglor was standing close to the wall. He closed his eyes and shook his head staying where he was.

“Mayo?” Fingon called over to Maedhros who looked again. “Everything is fine. No one is going to hurt you.”

Maedhros lightly bit his lip but still did not move at all. He looked from Fingon, Fingolfin, and then Maglor. Before trying to move back closer to the wall to no avail. Fingolfin took a breath and looked to Maglor and said, “Maglor. Take Fingon to get his bruised checked out. I will take care of this right now.”

“Atar,” Fingon interjected. “I am fine. I will take care of this,”

“Fingon. Please, let me deal with this for the time being,” Fingolfin said.

“I-fine.” Fingon said. He looked and he smiled at Maedhros and said, “Don’t worry. I will be back soon.”

He then left the room with Maglor and Fingon, both of them giving a worried look to the elf trying to curl into a ball on the bed. Once the door closed Fingolfin looked at Maedhros and gave him a smile and said, “It’s okay Nelyo, it’s okay...whatever it was it was just a bad dream. It was just a bad dream.”

Maedhros looked at him and slowly inched forward relaxing his shoulders somewhat. Fingolfin nodded and moved closer just a bit more moving his hands in a downward motion trying to visually show Maedhros that everything is okay. After a few long moments passed Maedhros was back to a normal spot on the bed with his injured leg settled in a comfortable position. As well as his arm was relaxed against him and his body wasn’t super tense.

“I-i hurt Finno?” Maedhros asked quietly looking down as if he was just caught doing something bad.

Fingolfin was quiet for just a moment and lied, “No. He just tripped.”

“I didn’t hurt him?” Maedhros then asked looking up slightly.

“No, and do not worry. He’ll be back soon.” Fingolfin reassured.

Maedhros gave a small bow of his head in acknowledgment as he settled back into the pillows. Fingolfin gave a little exhale before he turned and started to the door.

“No!” Maedhros yelped.

Fingolfin paused and turned to look at his nephew who was looking at him with wide eyes. “No...alone.” Maedhros managed.

Fingolfin nodded and walked back over sitting down nearby. Maedhros relaxed back into the bed but didn’t close his eyes. He just laid there staring at the ceiling his hand running up and down the blanket nervously.

Fingolfin looked at Maedhros with a frown. Yes, what they did was wrong but did that require for this to happen to Maedhros? His nephew who always helped rein in his brothers when he had to and did his very best to help his father stay calm. He did not deserve this. He truly did not. 


	6. Chapter 6

“There. You’ll be fine,” The healer said moving back as they moved their hand back. They just finished dapping a wet cloth on Fingon’s jaw. 

“Thank you,” Fingon responded as he sat back and rubbed his chin. Maglor sat by him looking at the floor and once the healer sat back he glanced up. 

“Excuse me?” Maglor asked looking at the healer. 

“Yes?” She asked.

“What can you do about Maedhros?” He asked. 

“Well, I am not sure. Since I may be a healer but I have not dealt with anything like this before.” She replied. “Since the only injuries back on Valinor were caused by nothing this server. Perhaps you can send someone to the Sindar Elves who live here. Perhaps they will be willing to lend a healer, if not them then perhaps one of the Avari who lives here.” 

“I can find a messenger to go to Doriath but I am not sure they will help us. They want nothing to do with us,” Fingon said.

“I heard that...but it’s just a healer,” Maglor said.

“I know maybe we can send them to Galadriel or one of her siblings. Perhaps they can convince the ruler of Doriath to send a healer here.” Fingon replied. 

“I can send a letter while you go back to Nelyo,” Maglor replied. “I will also see if Celegorm and the twins and find an Avari healer.” 

Fingon nodded and responded, “Great and I will try to talk to Maedhros to see if he’ll see you.”

Maglor nodded with a sad smile before he turned and left the room. Once Maglor was gone Fingon let out a huge sigh and held his head. He shook his head and swallowed hard before he looked up to healer and asked, “Until we find someone who can take better care of his wounds and mental state will you be able to watch him?” 

“Of course, I can keep him stable until them but I am more concerned about his mental health. With his shock and constant thrashing, he may reopen his wounds and keeping him drugged is not the best salutation.” She answered. 

“I see,” Fingon said. “Well, I will do my best to keep him as calm as I can.” 

“Very well,” The healer replied bowing her head to him as he stood up to leave. Fingon smiled and waved to the healer before he left fully. He walked across the hall and walked back into Maedhros’s room. His cousin was laying in bed staring at the ceiling and smiling a bit as Fingolfin was sitting by him reading. Fingolfin paused when he saw Fingon, Maedhros tilted his head as the reading stopped and he looked at the door. He smiled a bit more when he saw Fingon standing there. 

“Finno,” Maedhros said smiling sitting up a bit. 

“Nelyo,” Fingon said as he walked over and sat down on the bed on the other side of Maedhros.“I am glad to see you are doing a bit better right now,” Fingon continued on. 

Maedhros nodded sleepily as Fingolfin closed the book and set it down. Fingon smiled and patted his shoulder gently. Maedhros flinched and bit his bottom lip gently. Fingon gave him another smile as he pulled his hand away. 

“I am sorry Nelyo,” Fingon said. 

Maedhros looked up at Fingon and said, “I…no...don’t touch.” 

“Okay but we will need to change your bandages,” Fingon said. 

Maedhros paused taking a long glance at his bandages then at his cousin and his uncle. He once again bit his bottom him and shook his head slowly. Fingon gave a sigh and said, “Nelyo. We will have to change the bandages at some point,” 

“No,” Maedhros said. Fingon gave a look at Fingolfin who put the book away. “Do you need any help?” Fingolfin asked. 

He shook his head and said, “I can take care of this.” 

“Alright,” Fingolfin said. “Nelyo? Take care,” 

Maedhros gave him a light smile and then looked back at Fingon. He gave him a pitiful look as he laid there. Fingon gave him a smile and asked, “Nelyo. What if I watch when the healers change your bandages?” 

Maedhros paused and thought about that and sighed and gave a little nod. “Nothing else?” Maedhros asked.

Fingon gave a nod and said, “Nothing else.” 

Maedhros laid back and gave another yawn and started to close his eyes. Yet, before he did, he looked up at Fingon and at his chin with a frown. “I...did I do that?” He asked. 

“Course not,” Fingon responded with a smile.   
“Good,” Maedhros replied. 

“However you need to eat Nelyo.” He replied. “So just try to wait before going to sleep, I can send someone to get food for you.” 

“Food?” Maedhros asked looking a bit pale. 

“It’ll be fresh and nothing harmful. It mostly will just be liquids and maybe a bit of soft bread.” Fingon said as he stood up. Maedhros opened his mouth and then closed it settling back. 

“Okay,” He responded quietly. 

Fingon smiled and walked to the door, once it opened he stopped a servant and asked them to bring up some light liquids and food for Maedhros to have. The servant nodded and hurried off to the kitchen. Fingon waited by the door keeping an eye on Maedhros as he did so. His cousin was laying there staring at the wall blankly. Fingon sighed gently and leaned his head back and after about fifteen minutes the servant came back holding a tray.

“Excuse me, here’s the food you asked for,” The servant said handing the tray over. 

“Thank you,” Fingon said as he took the tray from them. The servant gave a respectful bow before he headed off back down the hall. Fingon turned and headed back to where Maedhros was laying. He placed the tray on his cousin's lap and settled down beside him. 

Maedhros looked down at the tray and sniffed at the bowl of soup. He then looked at Fingon and to the tray of food. 

“Nelyo?” Fingon asked. “Everything is okay with the food.” 

Maedhros looked at the tray and chewed on the bottom of his lip. Maedhros then shook his head and moved the tray away. 

“Nelyo. You do not have to worry, everything with the food is fine.” Fingon said. He paused after a long moment as he watched Maedhros just stare at the tray. 

“Do you want me to try it first?” Fingon then asked. “To make sure everything is okay?”

“Okay,” Maedhros said softly. 

“Alright then,” Fingon replied as he reached and picked up the spoon. He took a bit of soup and tasted it. He then handed the spoon to Maedhros and said, “There. It tastes just fine.” 

“What about the water?” Maedhros asked as he pointed to the cup. Fingon kept his smile light as he tried the water. He put the cup back and looked at his cousin. 

“Everything tastes just fine,” Fingon said. 

Maedhros gave a nod and took the spoon in his left hand. He held it uneasily before he put it down and took hold of the bowl. He picked it up titled the small bowl back a bit tasting some of the soup. He then smiled and said, “It tastes good,” 

“That’s good,” Fingon said with a smile. 

Maedhros then continued to eat and he soon finished it up. Once done Fingon moved the tray by the door and returned to his spot by his cousin's side. 

“Try to get some sleep now,” Fingon said. 

“Okay,” Maedhros replied before he settled back into the bed curled up the best be could. He then closed his eyes and fell asleep rather quickly. Which was expected since he most likely was still worn out from that nightmare. Yet, thankfully he was fed and now sleeping soundly in bed curled up asleep. 

Fingon gave a yawn and laid back closing his eyes. He did not have a goodnight's sleep in awhile but he wanted to stay away for Maedhros. Yet, his body refused as he lightly dozed off to sleep as well. 


	7. Chapter 7

Fingon was pacing the room as Maedhros slept for once peacefully. He was worried since he was waiting for a letter from his cousins who lived near Doriath. They needed a healer who knew how to deal with his wounds and everything else Maedhros was going through. He also was wondering where the Celegorm and the twins were since they were hunting down an Avari healer.

“Finno?” A soft voice said pausing Fingon’s pacing. He stopped and looked at Maedhros who was slowly sitting up.

“Hey, how did you sleep?” He asked.

“Good,” Maedhros replied.

“That’s good,” He replied as he moved to sit down next to him. He smiled brightly at Maedhros and he just smiled a bit.

“Can...I have some...food?” Maedhros asked hesitantly and struggling a bit.

“Of course,” Fingon said. “I am just going to go over to the door and ask someone to bring up some food.”

“Okay,” Maedhros replied. Fingon smiled and stood up walking over to the door. For the past week, his emotional state has been so chaotic and unpredictable. He just tried to do his best to help Maedhros but he didn’t know what to do when he got into those states. Luckily he was normally able to calm him down but still, they needed help. They haven’t been able to change the bandages even if the wounds opened again.

He opened the door and told a servant to bring up a tray of food. The servant nodded and hurried down the hall. He then went back over to Maedhros and sat down by him. “We’ll have some food brought up soon,” He said.

“Okay,” Maedhros said softly. He then frowned a bit more when he really saw Fingon’s face. “Are-are you sleepy?” He asked a little.

“Yeah, but I am fine,” Fingon said waving his hand.

“You should sleep,” Maedhros said sounding a bit like himself again but just for a few moments. Yet, once that moment passed. He sounded and looked very much like a scared Elfling.

“I will but I want to take care of you first,” Fingon replied with a smile.

“Okay,” He replied with a small nod. Maedhros then looked at the blanket quietly and Fingon just waited there for the servant to come back with food. It was like this most of the time at times Fingon did read to him or just talked to him lightly. Yet, there were other times such as these where Maedhros didn’t want to talk or listen to anything.

“Maedhros?” He asked after another set of silence. “Would you like anything?”

“Food?” Maedhros asked softly.

“That’s coming,” Fingon replied.

“Food here is good,” Maedhros said which caused Fingon’s stomach to twist slightly at whatever that could have meant. Yet, Fingon just smiled and nodded, “Yes. It is good here.” He said in agreement.

“Finno?” He then asked.

“Yes?” Fingon asked.

“Will it be warm?” He asked.

“It could be,” Fingon replied. “It most likely will be soup so it should be warm.”

Maedhros nodded and bit lip and looked down once again. Fingon then leaned back and waited while Maedhros just sat there. A knock on the door caused him to stiffen and looked up scared. Fingon stood up and did a calming gesture before he stood up and walked to the door. He opened it and smiled as he accepted the food from the servant. “Thank you,” He said.

“Of course my lord,” they said before they left and Fingon closed the door. He then brought the tray over to Maedhros.

“Here you go,” Fingon said.

“Thank you,” Maedhros replied as he took the tray. Maedhros ate slowly as Fingon picked up a book and read a bit to himself. There was another knock at the door which caused Maedhros to freeze once again. Fingon stood up and looked at Maedhros.

“It’s okay. I’ll see who it is,” He said softly and Maedhros nodded. Fingon stood up and walked to the door once more and looked at who it was. Another servant stood there and handed him the letter that he was waiting for. He took the room and walked back into the room. He sat down by Maedhros again and opened the letter and started reading it over. Maedhros watched Fingon as he was looking over the letter. Maedhros start to bite his bottom lip as he watched Fingon’s face.

“Finno?” He asked.

Fingon looked up at him and said, “Yes?”

“Are...are you okay?” Maedhros asked a bit quietly.

“I am fine,” Fingon said. “It says that a healer is going to come and help you,”

Maedhros looked at Fingon and looked worried. “What?” He asked.

“A healer, they are going to come and help you feel better,” Fingon said.

“No,” He replied as he shook his head.

“Nelyo. It’s okay, he’s not going to hurt you.” Fingon said. Maedhros bit his lip again and looked at him with worry and fear. He then shook his head and shut his eyes.

“It’s okay. I’ll be right here. They are not going to hurt you.” Fingon said.

Maedhros looked up at him and swallowed but gave a small nod. “Okay...I trust..you.” He said quietly. 


	8. Chapter 8

Fingon looked up at the door as Maedhros quietly ate his meal. He looked at Fingon who stood up and gave him a calming smile. He then headed to the door and when he opened it Celegorm stood on the other side with another elf.

“Fingon, this is Mildor.” Celegorm replied. “He’s the healer that we were directed too.” 

“Good, I am Fingon,” He said. 

“Nice to meet you,” Mildor said adjusting the bag he had with. Celegorm looked past Fingon a bit at Maedhros. He frowned as he saw Maedhros just staring at his meal. Fingon put a hand on Celegorm’s shoulder and offered him a smile. 

“I...just looking at Maedhros.” He replied. 

“He’ll get better,” Fingon said. 

“Right. We’ll I’ll leave you two at it,” Celegorm said. He stepped back and then left. Fingon sighed and looked at Mildor. 

“Come on in, I’ll introduce you two.” Fingon said and the healer nodded. They walked in and Fingon led him over to Maedhros. He shifted uncomfortably and looked away. 

“Maedhros. This is Mildor, he’s the healer that’s going to make you better,” Fingon said introducing the two of them. Mildor smiled and knelt down. 

“Hello,” He said gently. Maedhros looked away and bit his bottom lip. Mildor just smiled and said, “Can I look over your wounds?” 

“Please, Nelyo? I am right here,” Fingon said. Maedhros looked back and nodded. Fingon moved the tree and helped Maedhros move the blankets back. Mildor placed the bag he had on the ground and sat on the bed. He moved the bandages on Maedhros’s leg first and frowned. 

“Is something wrong?” Fingon asked. 

“Yes. This is going to take a bit more work,” He replied. “These bandages haven’t been changed and a lot of this wound has been infected.” 

Mildor sat back and rolled his sleeves back. He grabbed his bag and looked around in it. He grabbed a few things and put them on the bed. He slowly lifted Maedhros’s leg and unwrapped the bandages fully. Maedhros shut his eyes and bit his bottom lip harder. A small whimper came from his lips and Fingon put a hand to his shoulder. 

The wound was large and swollen. It was still bloodied but now there was a mix of colors to it such as yellow, black, and some green. Fingon swallowed as he saw the wound and he looked at Mildor. “Are all the wounds going to be like this?” He asked. 

“I am not sure,” Mildor answered as he worked gently dabbed the wound with a damp cloth. Fingon nodded and looked away as Mildor worked on the wound. It took a bit of time but he soon was able to bandage the wound carefully. He then moved out but as he reached for the next bandage Maedhros moved his limb away and shook his head. 

“No!” He said. “Get away,” 

He pulled away from both Fingon and Mildor. He moved to the edge of the bed and stared at them fearfully. Fingon moved closer but Mildor moved him as he did. He then held up his hands. “Easy.” Mildor said very gently. “Easy. Just breath. Take a deep breath, okay?” 

Maedhros breathed in deeply and it shuddered as it came out. Mildor gave a nod and said, “Good. Try a few more.” 

Maedhros breathed in again and out with it still shuddering slightly. He did this a few more times but the shuddering as he breathed slowly calmed and became lighter. Maedhros’s shoulders dropped down a bit as he relaxed. “Good. Now, please come back over here. Alright. Just let me do one more bandage then we’ll stop for a bit.” He offered. 

Maedhros nodded and inched back over. Once he was right next to them Maedhros took Fingon’s hand and held it tightly. Mildor got back to the other wound and it was similar to the first. Once again Maedros looked away as Mildor worked. He winced and gripped Fingon’s hand tighter as if to make sure that he was still by him. 

“He’s almost done,” Fingon said softly. Maedhros gave a tight nod and Fingon could see he was working hard at not jerking away. Fingon just held his hand and started to speak quenya softly to him, hoping to help calm him down until the was done.

“Alright. Done,” Mildor said and moved back. “I’ll move onto the next one in a little bit. Alright?” 

Maedhros nodded. Mildor smiled and stood up and gestured for Fingon to follow him. Yet, before they walked away Mildor turned back to Maedhros and said, “While I talk to Fingon just take some deep breaths. Okay? Just focus on the deep breaths.” 

Maedhros gave another nod. Mildor gave him a thumb’s up before he walked away with Fingon to the other end of the room. “Have you been giving him anything for the pain?” He asked. 

“Yes. We had to mix into his food so he wouldn’t know. He wouldn’t have taken it otherwise,” Fingon replied quietly.   
“Alright. That’s good I’ll have a few more things to add. For the pain, inflammation for the wounds I did see, as well as for the infections.” He said. “Yet, I have another question. Why has no one changed the bandages until know. Those wounds are serious, I mean elves are faster healers but still.” 

“I know. We should have but- it’s hard at times when he gets scared. It’s taking a lot to just keep him calm and even making sure he eats.” Fingon said. 

“I understand but you have to work on keeping up with having those wounds clean. Same as keeping the sheets, clothes, and the blankets he uses.” Mildor said. “As well as taking some warm baths and if he dose I have somethings he can add to the water to help with his wounds.” 

“Okay,” Fingon said. “You seemed to know a lot about dangerous wounds and keeping people calm.” 

“I have been a healer for a long time and have dealt with bad wounds. As well as having people stay calm and helping them work through issues. The biggest thing I can tell you is to remind him to breath and talk him down.” Mildor said. “Yet, we’ll need to talk a bit more about what he goes through for me to help with that aspect. However, for now we are going to stay on his page and just work on one thing at a time.” 

Fingon nodded and followed Mildor back to the bed where Maedhros was sitting breathing deeply. “Are you alright for me to work on the next wound?” He asked. Maedhros gave a quick nod and reached out for Fingon’s hand again. 

Fingon took his hand and Mildor got back to work. The process of working and stopping was long and exhausting. Yet, after a lot of work and having to get Maedros to calm down again they finished and Fingon even coaxed him into wearing some fresh clothes. 

“Maedhros?” Mildor asked gently. The red-haired elf looked over from where he lay in bed. “I am going to be back later to check on your wounds. Okay?” 

Maedhros nodded and Midlor reached into his pocket and fished out a small wrapped ball. “Here,” He said passing it to him. With Fingon’s help Maedhros got it unwrapped and he gave it a curious sniff. 

“It’s a sweet. Hey, even us big elves deserve a treat for trooping through hard times.” Mildor said. Maedhros smiled a bit at that and gave the treat a small lick. He blinked surprised and popped it in his mouth. 

“It tastes good,” He said as he had it between his tongue and cheek. 

“I’m glad. Now, rest up. I’ll be back a bit later okay?” He said with a wave and Maedhros gave a tiny wave back. Mildor then left the room and closed the door behind him. Fingon smiled as he looked at his cousin. 

“It’s really good,” Maedhros said with a smile and Fingon saw the smallest a twinkle in his eye. 

“Good. I am glad,” Fingon said with a smile. Maedhros settled back and looked at the book Fingon had been reading to him earlier that day. 

“Do you want me to continue?” Fingon asked and Maedhros nodded. 

Fingon took the book and settled down beside him. He opened the book and started to read to him again. Maedhros finished the treat he had and laid back down cuddling into the blankets. He listened to Fingon read to him gently. Maedhros’s eyelinds started to droop after awhile and a bit later he was asleep in bed. Fingon smiled and closed the book and pulled the blanket over him. 

He straightened up but he felt a small tug on the edge of his tunic and found Maedhros was holding it. Fingon just smiled and sat beside him. He leaned his head to the headboard and closed his eyes. He was very happy Maedhros was getting the help he really needed. Yet, as he started to fall asleep a scream woke him up. He turned to Maedhros who started to thrash around. “Nelyo. It’s okay, it’s a dream. Just a dream.” 

Maedhros just jerked and kept muttering things incoherently as he moved about. Fingon took a gentle hold of his shoulders and said, “Come on, Nelyo. Please wake up. Just please wake up,” 

* * *

_Mairon grinned as Maedhros shook as he was suspended from the ceiling by a heavy pair of iron shackles. “Come on. A little scream?” He asked as he grabbed Maedhros’s face. _

_“No…” He managed. _

_“If you do I may go easier on you,” Mairon offered. Maedhros just jerked his head away and spat some blood on Mairon’s boot. Mairon slapped Maedhros hard but the red-haired elf slowly turned and gave a bloody smile. _

_“Oh. I am going to enjoy breaking your spirit,” Mairon said. He suddenly smiled a bit more and walked over the shackles. He ran two fingers on the outside of the metal and he spoke words of power to them. His hissing like that of a snake as he poured his magic into it. Maedhros tensed and he held back a cry of pain as he felt intense heat from the shackles. He slowly looked over and saw it was glowing a bright orange and words shone across the metal. _

_Maedhros then screamed out in pain as the pain intensified. He shook as the burning pain traveled up his arms. He screamed till his throat hurt and tears were in his eyes. Which Mairon gently wiped them away. _

_“Aw. Don’t cry. I just wanted you to scream. We’ll make you cry later,” Mairon said as he patted Maedhros’s cheeck. _

_“You’re a monster,” Maedhros said hoarsely as he shook in pain. _

_“Perhaps,” Mairon said. “Yet, I am not the one who killed thousands of my own kind. Isn’t that right little kinslayer? Tell me something, do you hear their screams still? See the look of horror on their face when you close your eyes? Do you feel any pain when you think about the ones that survived? How their families are gone?” _

_“Stop just stop!” Maedhros said shaking his head tears coming to his eyes. He shut them as tight as he could and contiued to beg quietly. _

Yet, as his eyes opened he saw Fingon and Mildor by him. Fingon was holding his hand and his shoulder while Mildor returned something to his bag. Maedhros sat up and pressed himself against Fingon crying his body shook as he did. 

“It’s okay,” Fingon said softly as he wrapped his arms around him. “It’s okay. You are safe, no one is going to hurt you.” 

Maedhros just stayed where he was and cried quietly. Fingon just held him close and let him cry and shake. He looked to Mildor who stood up holding a smaller pouch that he took from his bag. “I have something to help. I’ll be right back.” He said. 

“Okay,” Fingon said as he held Maedhros tightly. Mildor nodded and hurried out of the room. Once he left Fingon turned back to Maedhros. Who’s sobs started to get quieter yet as well as the shaking but they still kept coming. 

“Mayo?” Fingon asked very softly causing Maedhros to look as he sniffed. Fingon pulled out a handkerchief and offered it to him. Maedhros took it and curled back up as he dried his tears that kept coming. A bit later Mildor came back holding a mug of steaming tea. Maedhros paled as he saw the steam and he moved away. 

“No,” He said shaking his head. 

“It’s just my own blend of tea and some honey.” Mildor said. 

“Hot,” Maedhros said. Mildor thought for a moment before he wrapped a cloth around the mug and said, “There. Now the mug won’t be that hot.” 

“Come on Mayo,” Fingon said softly to him. Maedhros gave a small nod and took a sip. He normally wasn’t the biggest fan of tea but something about this was very good. As well as it tasted sweet and flavorful. 

“It’s good,” He said. 

“Thank you,” Mildor said. “Just try to finish it,” 

Maedhros nodded and just sat there holding the cup and taking small sips. After awhile he finished it and sat back. Fingon moved the cup to the side and Mildor sat down nearby. “Maedhros.” Mildor said. “Can you look at me.” 

Maedhros looked over and Mildor turned further to face him better. “Whenever that happens again take those deep breaths. You have to just breath and let your body know that you are safe.” 

“But the dreams are really bad,” Maedhros said wrapping his arm around him. 

“I know but they are just dreams. They can’t hurt you, look around the room. What do you see?” Mildor asked. 

Maedhros looked around and listed what he saw. When he was finished Mildor said, “You also can try doing that. I know it’s bad but after you wake up having you stay calm is important. Look, when you are ready and your wounds are more healed. I will help you with these bad dreams and I am sure Fingon over there will do.” 

Maedhros looked between the two and nodded wiping his eyes as he settled back. “Thank you,” Maedhros said. 

“Of course,” Mildor said. “I’ll wait until you go to sleep tonight to check your wounds.” 

“Not going to sleep again,” Maedhros said looking down. 

“Nelyo. You have to sleep,” Fingon said. 

“No!” He replied stubbornly. 

“Maedhros. I do have something that can help, I know you don’t like any medicines but this can help you sleep without any nightmares.” Mildor said. 

“No bad dreams?” Maedhros asked. 

“No bad dreams.” Mildor confirmed. “Does that sound good?” 

“Does...it taste bad?” Maedhros asked. Mildor looked slightly surprised but he then gave a kind smile. 

“No. I add a bit of cinnamon to it so it’s not bitter” Mildor said.

“Okay,” Maedhros said with a nod. 

“Perfect. I will bring you some tonight then,” Mildor said. Maedhros nodded and looked to Fingon who was smiling at him. 

“That’s very brave of you,” Fingon said and Maedhros just smiled a little. Mildor left the room again and Fingon contiued the book again. Thankfully Maedhros was alright for the rest of the day and Mildor came back to change his bandages he did the same thing as before. It took awhile but it was easier for Maedhros to get through it that way. After he got one of those treats again and Mildor gave him the drink to help him sleep. He took that relulently but took it nevertheless. After a few minutes his eyes dropped and he fell asleep. 

“Wow. It really works,” Fingon said as he helped Mildor clean up. 

“It dose, I had time to improve it and make sure it works.” Mildor replied as he closed his bag. 

“You had bad nightmares?” Fingon asked. 

“Still get them at times, besides everyone gets them at times.” Mildor said. “Well I am off, I recommend you get some sleep. Trust me forcing yourself to stay awake and watch him will just get you into a bad place.” 

“Alright,” Fingon said. Mildor handed him a blanket from the pile and said, “Also, sleep on the floor or that couch over there. Sleeping on a chair by his bed isn’t the smart.” 

“How did-” 

“I am a healer. We healers are masters of sleeping in chairs and dealing with the back pain that can come from it.” Mildor replied. 

“Alright,” Fingon said with a smile. Mildor wished him goodnight and left as Fingon laid down on the couch. Once he laid down he fell asleep quickly and thankfully it was a quiet and peaceful night all around. 


	9. Chapter 9

When Maedhros opened his eyes he squinted as a warm light shone across his face. He blinked and slowly sat up as he looked at the curtains were pulled back allowing daylight to shine in. He blinked in surprise as he was never sure he’ll be able to see this kind of light again. 

  
He then looked around for Fingon and saw sitting on the couch with Milrod. Fingon looked up and smiled, “How did you sleep?” He asked as he got up and walked over. 

“Good,” Maedhros said rubbing his face a bit. 

“That’s very good,” Fingon said. “Nelyo? I have something I want to talk to you about,” 

Maedhros looked at him slightly puzzled as Fingon sat down beside him. “I was talking with Mildor and he says you should be taking some baths. I think it’s a good idea as well,” 

Maedhros looked down at himself and then looked at Fingon again. “Baths?” 

“Yeah. There will just be warm water and soup,” Fingon said. “As well as a few things that Milrod has that’ll help your wounds.” 

Maedhros didn’t want to fully but he gave a nod and said, “Okay.” 

“Alright. I’ll get a bath going and Milrod is going to change your bandages after.” Fingon said standing up. 

“Breakfast?” Maedhros asked. 

“I’ll get it to you after he changes your bandages,” He replied. Maedhros nodded and sat up a bit more. Fingon patted his shoulder before he turned and headed to the adjoined bathroom. Maedhros clenched his fists and took a deep breath. He took a few more and looked at Mildor who walked over to him. 

“You okay?” He asked. 

Maedhros gave a hesitant shrug and Mildor gave a nod at sat on the edge of the bed. “I just want to see how your ankle and arm looks, okay?” 

Maedhros nodded and Milrod moved the blankets over and moved the bandages back a bit. He gave a nod and move right next to him and Maedhros held out his left arm. Mildor gave him a smile and said, “Your other arm.” 

He put his arm down and moved a bit allowing Milrod to look at it. “Right. Your ankle is looking better but your arm doesn't look that great yet. So, I do want Fingon to help you alright?” 

Maedhros bit his lip but nodded as Fingon came back over to them. “Alright. It’s all ready,” Fingons said as he helped Maedhros up. Once Maedhros stood he winced and instantly fell onto Fingon. 

“Just take it slowly,” Milrod said as he helped Fingon get Maedhros into a better position. He then helped Maedhros to the bathroom. He felt fear raise in his throat and he tried to take a deep breath. Yet, the next thing Maedhros knew he was sitting in the bathroom heavily heavily. Fingon was rubbing his back and Milrod was kneeling on the floor right by him holding a sweet smelling small pouch by his nose. 

“What...what happened?” Maedhros asked shakily. 

“You passed out,” Milrod answered as he pocketed the bag and stood up. “You know that tea I gave you last night? I want to give you some now. Okay?” 

Maedhros nodded and swallowed hard as he leaned close to Fingon. Milrod looked at them for a moment before he left the room. “Just breath,” Fingon told him. “Just breath.” 

“I am trying,” Maedhros replied shakily. Fingon just held him close rubbing small circles over his back. Luckily Milrod got back quickly with the tea with a mug that had a cloth wrapped around it. Maedhros took the mug and took small sips. After some time he finished and found it was a bit easier to breathe and his shoulders relaxed. 

“I...can take a bath now,” Maedhros said softly. Milrod nodded and stepped out of the room, allowing for more privacy. He walked over to the desk and started to prepare the things he would need for when he changed the bandages. 

~~~

A bit later the door opened and Fingon helped Maedhros back to the bed. Once he was laying down again Milrod came over and bandages the wounds again. He used the same few processes as he did last time. Like the time before it did take awhile but it helped Maedhros stay calm which was the most important thing. 

Once Milrod was done he went to go get breakfast for Maedhros. While they waited Fingon contiued on in the book he was reading before. Maedhros listened quietly and looked up when Milrod stepped in holding a tray. 

“Here you go,” he said as he placed it in Maedhros’s lap. 

“Thank you,” Maedhros replied. 

“Of course but I do have something to ask you,” Milrod said. Maedhros looked up at the healer. 

“How have you been doing lately?” He asked.   
Maedhros shrugged and poked at his food for a moment before taking a bite. Fingon looked at Milrod then to Maedhros. “You have been doing a bit better, well with that tea and everything what Milrod’s been doing so far.” 

“I guess,” He answered quietly. 

“Well your brother. Maglor stopped to talk to me, he really would like to see you. Even just for a little bit, I am not asking you to answer. Just think about seeing him.” Milrod said. “Well, I’ll be back tonight to change the bandages. Have a good day,” 

Maedhros didn’t reply he just focused on eating small bites of food. Yet, he slowed down and just stared at his food tears coming to his eyes. Fingon looked at him and said, “Nelyo?”

“I...can’t,” He said dropping the fork and hiding his face. “I just can’t. I want to but I can’t.” 

“Nelyo. Talk to me,” Fingon said. 

Maedhros swallowed hard and said, “Kano...I want to see him...but I...I can’t.” 

“Why?” Fingon asked. 

Maedhros looked at him with tears in his eyes and swallowed again. His bottom lip quivering very slowly and shakily he told Fingon about how Mairon would change how he looked to mimic people he cared about. When he finished he broke down crying and Fingon moved the tray over and wrapped his arms around him. He could tell there was something else but he wasn’t going to push. He just kept him close until his tears quiet down becoming light sniffles. 

Fingon handed him a tissue and said, “Nelyo. I know you are scared but I can assure you that Kano is Kano.” He gave a slight pause and added, “Just like how I am really Finno.” 

Maedhros looked up at him and gave a little nod then. “Okay for a little and don’t leave?” He asked. 

“I’ll stay right next to you,” Fingon assured him. Maedhros sat there for a few moments before he hugged Fingon. After a bit of time he let go and Fingon gave him the tray back and he contiued to eat. 


	10. Chapter 10

Maedhros was holding onto a soft blanket and worked on breathing deeply. He looked at Fingon who was right by him. They were waiting for Mildor who was going to bring in Maglor for a small visit. Maedhros was a bit scared but he tried to keep calm. He even had a cup of Milrod’s tea to help relax him. Maedhros looked up as a knock sounded at the door he swallowed hard as Milrod stepped in. He stepped over and Maglor walked in. 

“Hey,” Maglor said gently. “You’re looking better,” 

Maedhros managed a small nod and clenched his hand against the blanket tighter. “Maglor,” Fingon said as he stood up. He walked over and whispered something to him. Maglor looked at him and nodded. 

“Hey. Nelyo,” He said. “Know what I was thinking about today? It was when I was little you got me a fake harp for my birthday. I brought that harp everywhere pretending I was a master at it. Can’t believe I forgot that you accidently got me into playing that. Which led to me trying to learn others and trying to teach myself which kept everyone up at night.” 

“Kano,” Maedhros said blinking away a tear. He moved over and Maglor came to meet him wrapping his arms around him. Maedhros hung onto him tightly for a long while. Yet, he eventually let go and sniffed a bit and brushed his the back of his hand across his eyes. Maglor sat down by him as he moved back to lay down. Maglor thought for a moment before he started to tell Maedhros about a new song he was working on. Maedhros smiled a bit as Maglor hummed a bit of it and chuckled lightly as Maglor got his idea face and forget where he was in the humming. 

“It’s good to see him like this,” Fingon said to Mildor as he walked over to where the elf stood by the wall.

“I can imagine, I bet it’s doing his brother some good ” He replied as he looked at the Maglor talking with Maedhros who was talking a bit more. 

“Both of them needed it,” Fingon agreed. “How are his wounds coming?” 

“Getting better but dealing with physical wounds can be easy. It’s the things that happen up here that are hard,” Mildor answered as he tapped his forehead. 

“Yeah,” He replied softly. 

“Well, I am sure with a friend like you and a brother like that, he’s going to have an easier time with it.” Mildor said leaning back. 

“What do you mean?” Fingon asked. 

“It’s easier to deal with heavy things when you have people who care for you around,” Mildor said. 

“You know a lot about mental wounds as well,” Fingon said. 

“Hey. Everyone has their stories and scars,” Mildor replied with a shrug. They then looked up as they heard Maedhros laughing bit just a light giggle. But he was holding his stomach a bit laughing his face holding a bit more life. 

Mildor smirked a bit and then looked over to Fingon and said, “He said just a little bit should we tell him the time is up?” 

“Interrupt them I’ll hurt you,” Fingon threatened but smiled at the clear joke. 

* * *

It was much later that night after Maedhros ate his dinner when Maglor left only after having to promise that he’ll come visit tomorrow. Fingon had fallen asleep on the couch and Mildor was getting ready to change the bandages. 

“Mildor?” Maedhros asked. 

“Yeah?” He asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed. 

“Am...am I going to get better?” Maedhros asked as he looked up at him. 

“Of course,” Mildor replied. “That’s why I am here.” 

“No. I mean...mean my head.” He said quietly. “I know that’s really Kano but I am still scared a bit. I can’t do normal things and I-” 

Yet he stopped and covered his face. Mildor gave a sigh and stood up sitting down by Maedhros. “Hey. It’s okay, it is hard dealing with bad things that happen to you. Now in all honesty it does not go away but it does get better and easier. Look, I had something happen to me too. For a long time I wasn’t myself.”

“Really?” Maedhros asked as he looked up. 

“Yeah. I had nightmares too and I refused to sleep. Yet, through a lot of hard work they along with my other things got easier. However you have one thing I didn’t.” He said. 

“What?” Maedhros asked. 

“Besides an extremely skilled and handsome healer. You have him,” He said gesturing to Fingon who turned over asleep. Maedhros laughed a bit at the first part but smiled as he looked at Fingon. 

“Now. Why don’t we get started on changing these bandages,” Milrod said as he stood up. Maedhros nodded and Milrod sat by him and got to work. As normal it took some time until he was finished after he gave Maedhros the thing to help him sleep he started to clean up. 

“Milrod?” He asked again. 

“Hmm?” Milrod replied looking up. 

“Thank you,” He replied. 

“Of course,” Milrod replied. “I'll change your bandages tomorrow morning and maybe we can see if he can get a bath then too.” 

Maedhros laughed a bit as saw Milrod point over at Fingon. He gave a nod and laid back in the bed, he fell asleep after just a few minutes. 


	11. Chapter 11

**A Month Later...**

“How does that feel?” Mildor asked as he helped Maedhros walked around his room. 

“Better,” Maedhros replied taking a few more steps with Mildor next to him. The healer nodded and they took a few more steps around the room. 

“Alright. I think that’s enough for right now,” Mildor said as he led Maedhros over to the couch next to Fingon. Maedhors gave a small nod and sat down next to Fingon taking a deep breath and leaning back. Over the past month he’s been healing a lot physically and somewhat mentally. He could handle visits as well as handle a sudden noise even though it can startle him. Yet, dealing with everything else was still very hard to even face.

Maedhros looked out the window and let the sunlight touch his face as Mildor talked to Fingon about what else Maedhros should for working his arm and leg today. He half listened as he sat there looking at the blue sky. He spaced out since when Fingon called him he looked around and Mildor was gone. 

“Yeah?” Maedhros asked turning to Fingon. 

“You okay?” Fingon asked. 

“Yeah. Just looking outside,” He replied. 

“Yeah. It looks like a nice day outside,” Fingon replied. Maedhros nodded in reply and looked out the window again.

“Maedhros? Do you want to go outside?’ Fingon asked. Maedhros thought for a moment but shook his head. 

“Not yet,” He replied, his voice soft. 

“Alright, well want to get back to the game?” Fingon asked as he looked at the chess game that was set up. Maedhros nodded and Fingon moved back to the chair across from him. He looked over the board since it ended on his tern last. Maedhros looked at the board after Fingon and moved his knight up. He looked over the pieces and smiled a bit as he moved his rook. 

“Check,” He said. 

“What?” Fingon asked as he looked it over and frowned. He sighed and shook his head. It took him a few minutes to move a pawn which Maedhros took. Once Fingon made his next move Maedhros smiled a bit more. 

“Checkmate,” He said as he moved his queen.  
“Why are you so good at this game?” Fingon asked as he sat back in his chair shaking his head. 

“Grandpa Finwe first taught it to me,” Maedhros replied as he settled back. 

“Ah. Well when you get better fully we are going Falcon hunting and then we’ll see who wins.” Fingon said. 

“Alright. Then I’ll just have to play you at chess after,” Maedhros said with a smile. Fingon pondered the question for a moment before he gave a nod. 

“It’s a deal,” He said. 

“Alright...do you want to play again?” Maedhros asked a bit hesitant. 

“Of course. I’ll set the board up again,” Fingon said as he started to set it up again. Yet, a knock at the door interrupted them. Fingon got up and looked to Maedhros who just took a deep breath and nodded. Fingon headed to the door and when he opened it Huan came bolting in and over to Maedhros. The red-haired was a bit surprised but laughed lightly as Huan hopped up by him and started to lick his face. 

“Hey!” Maedhros said in between licks.

“Huan. I think that’s enough of a hello,” Celegorm said. Huan turned and gave a light bark at him. Celegorm shook his head and said, “Yeah but I told you to be a bit gentle.” 

Huan looked at Maedhros and then settled down on the couch putting his head on Maedhros’s lap. Maedhros smiled and bet Huan’s head. 

“He still thinks he’s a small pup?” Fingon asked looking at Celegorm. 

“Yeah. At least he didn’t tackle you,” Celegorm said. He then turned to Maedhros who smiled lightly. 

“So. How have you been?” He asked. 

“Better,” Maedhros replied keeping his hand going over Huan’s soft fur. 

“That’s really good,” Celegorm said. “You are looking better.” 

Maedhros just nodded and looked at Huan who was very content with Maedhros petting his head. Celegorm smiled and sat on the floor by the couch. “So? Do you mind if we join you guys for a bit?” He asked. 

“What did you do?” Maedhros asked. 

“Can’t I just want to see me older brother?” Celegorm replied but Maedhros just stared at him without changing an expression. 

“Okay. Okay, Curufin may want to kill me since I kinda broke something he was in middle of.” Celegorm said. 

Maedhros shook his head trying to look upset but having his brother’s antics around him helped again just wanted to make him smile. Having them here he felt a sense of something normal and like things could go back to that again. He liked that idea and feeling. 

“Alright,” Maedhros said as he turned his head to the chess game. Maedhros and Fingon went back the game as Celegorm was telling Maedhros what he had been up to lately. His hunting trips and a conversation he had with a bird. Maedhros listened with a smile as he played the game. 

* * *

“Alright. We’ll see you later, goodnight” Celegorm after Maedhros sat down in bed. 

“Goodnght,” Maedhros said as laid down. He waved to Celegrom as he left with Huan. He settled back and looked at Fingon who was getting some medicine that Mildor still wanted him to take. He was at a point where he could just take it without them having to trick him into it. Which was another plus in this. 

Maedhros took the medicine and a long drink of water after. He put the cup down on the side of the bed as he laid back. He watched Fingon straighten things up a bit as he did that Maedhros reached a hand up to his hair. It started to grow back but it was still short which in all truth he didn’t mind as much. Yet, the one thing he wasn’t sure about was a long white streak of hair that he had now. He gave a sigh and put his hand down and closed his eyes for a moment. He gave a light gasp as when he closed his eyes for a few moments he felt himself hanging back at that cliff.

“Maedhros?” Fingon asked coming over as Maedhros gasped and sat up. 

“I’m okay,” Maedros said shakily. Fingon frowned and sat down next to him wrapping an arm around him. 

“Just breath. It’s okay, it’s okay,” Fingon said. Maedhros nodded and took a few deep breaths. He shook a bit but calmed down a bit as Fingon stayed next to him just saying comforting things and rubbing his shoulder. Maedhros took one last deep breath and nodded, “Thank you.” 

“Anytime,” He said. “Well. It’s getting late, you should get some sleep.” 

  
“Right.” Maedhros said as he settled down further down in the bed. He closed his eyes and fell asleep luckily without dreams. Yet, the shadows came just as he started to wake up. 

As he opened his eyes he stared at the ceiling, feeling something cold inside. A voice started to whisper in the back of his mind. The voice forced the shadows further into his mind making him wince and grip the blanket tightly. He shut his eyes and shook his head trying to ignore the nagging words. 

“No,” He said quietly as the voice pressed on. He sat up and shook his head, trying his hardest to ignore the whispers. 

“Maedhros?” Asked Fingon who sat up over by the couch. Maedhros looked over and tears were in his eyes. Fingon frowned and walked over sitting down at the edge of the bed. 

“Maedhros? What’s wrong?” Fingon asked. Maedhros opened his mouth to speak but found no words. He swallowed and put his head on Fingon’s shoulder as the tears came. Fingon wrapped his arms around him and drew him close as Maedhros cried quietly. Fingon wasn’t sure what was wrong but he just held him close until the tears stopped. Once they stopped Fingon got him a wet cloth to clean his face. Maedhros just washed his face and then dried it quietly.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Fingon asked. Maedhros just shook his head and swallowed. 

“I...I just want to get up,” He said softly. 

“Alright. Come on,” Fingon said and helped him up. Maedhros walked to the bathroom and pushed what the voices said away in the back of his mind. He took a deep breath and started to get ready for the day. 


	12. Chapter 12

Maedhros was in the bathroom washing his face and as he looked in the mirror he froze. Standing behind grinning slyly was Mairon. He clenched the sides of the sink and shook his head. “Just dreaming...just dreaming.” He whispered to himself. 

“But you’re wide awake,” Said Mairon with a light laugh. 

Maedhros shook his head and winced at every step he heard Mairon took as he inched closer and closer. He felt his head forced up and something gripping his face. “Come on little kinslayer. Where is that bravery?” 

“You’re…not real.” He said his eyes closed. 

“If I am not real. Then why don’t you open your eyes and leave?” Mairon asked gripping his face tighter. Maedhros tried to move his legs but he was frozen in place. He shivered as Mairon laughed right behind him. Then he felt his body just crumble to the ground, he opened his eyes and Mairon’s gleaming eyes stared down at him. 

“You know you don’t belong here. After everything I did to you and what you did before. You know you deserve everything I gave you. So why don’t you go to that place in the back of your mind you found. You don’t belong here...they left you. That precious friend of yours only saved you since he wants something from you. After all you are king. None of them care, after all if they did they’ll come running in to help you from me. You are alone, little elf.” Mairon said. 

“Just get away!” Maedhros yelped and grabbed the closest thing he could which was a glass cup by the bathtub. He grabbed it and lashed it out but the next thing he saw was blood running down his hand. He blinked confused and his head looked around the bathroom. It was empty. 

The door flew open and Maedhros looked up startled. Fingon saw Maedhros sitting there his hand bleeding and broken glass on the floor. He hurried over and bent down next to Maedhors. “Hey. Nelyo? What happened? Are you alright?” Fingon asked. 

“H..he..was...I,” Maedhros mumbled shaking. Fingon grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Maedhor’s shaking hand. 

“Come on,” Fingon said softly and helped Maedhros up and led him to the bedroom. 

“What happened?” Celegorm asked as he stood up with Maglor. Both of them looked worried as they saw Maedhros shaking and a bloody towel around his hand. 

“Get Mildor,” Fingon said. Celegorm nodded and ran out of the room as Maglor along with Huan came over. Huan hopped on the bed and gave Maedhros’s face a little lick. Maedhros blinked and smiled very weakly at him. He opened his mouth but closed it and pulled back. Huan titled his head to the side and it seemed he frowned. He moved closer and placed his head on Maedhros’s lap. 

“Nelyo?” Maglor asked softly moving behind Huan to be on the other side of him. “Hey. Are you alright?” 

Maedhros still didn’t speak he just swallowed and stared blankly at the bed. Yet, he did look up a bit as Celegorm came back with Mildor close behind. Mildor saw the bloody towel and quickly hurried over. He gestured for everyone to give him space as he sat next to him on the bed. 

“Maedhros? I am going to bandage your hand, okay?” He asked. He frowned slightly as Maedhros gave no reply. Mildor gave a sigh and gently took his hand and removed the towel. He removed the glass and bandaged the hand gently. 

“There,” He said as he placed his bandaged hand on top of Huan’s head. Maedhros blinked and looked down. His hand gently moved across the soft fur numbly. Mildor stood up and singled Fingon and the brothers to the other side of the room. 

“What happened?” Mildor asked once they were out of ear-shot from Maedhros. 

“I don’t know. He went to the bathroom and a bit later I heard a crash.” Fingon said. 

“What happened to him? He was doing much better,” Maglor asked. Mildor stood back and closed his eyes to think. 

He was quiet for awhile before he asked, “Did he say anything?” 

“No. He can’t get a full word out,” Fingon said. “Why is that bad? What does mean?” 

“It means that they did more to him than we thought,” Mildor replied. “It could have been a hallucination or something in there triggered a bad memory. I am not sure but either way I would recommend you don’t leave him alone at all.” 

The three nodded and Maglor looked at Maedhros who kept petting Huan slowly. He looked back at Mildor and asked, “Will he get over them?” 

“I can’t say but I do think he will or least find the strength to fight them now. He just got out of there a month ago, he still needs time.” Mildor replied. “There is nothing more we can do to help him now. Let’s just let him rest. Maybe just sit with him and make sure he stays calm. I’ll be back a in a few hours, I have to check a few ideas I have out.” 

“Alright,” Fingon said with a nod. 

“We’ll keep our eyes on him,” Celegorm added. Mildor nodded and left the room. The three walked over and sat down. Maedhros looked up at them and blinked almost looking confused. 

“Nelyo?” Fingon asked. 

Maedhros looked at him his hand that was moving across the fur stopped. He stared at Fingon quietly, Fingon smiled kindly at him. Yet, that seemed to just confuse him as he looked at the three of them again. 

“Nelyo. What’s wrong?” Maglor asked softly. 

“I...don’t...understand,” Maedhors said quietly. 

“Don’t understand what?” Celegorm asked. Maedhros swallowed as he looked at them. His bottom lip quivered but something inside pushed him to slowly tell them what happened. As he got further in the story tears started to stream down his face. By the end of it he was a crying shaking mess. They had to force themselves to stay seated there and resist the urge to go and kill Mairon. 

“Hey. Don’t listen to that,” Fingon said as he moved closer to him. “You are my best friend, I just want you to be safe and healthy.” 

“And we’re your brothers, we may drive each other insane but we care about you Maedhros,” Celegorm said. 

“Yes. We are right here for you and we aren’t going to leave you like this,” Maglor said as he hugged him. Fingon and Celegorm joined the hug and Maedhros melted into the hug allowing for them to hold him close. Even Huan nuzzled his say into the group the give Maedhors’s face a few licks. 

“Thank...thank you,” Maedhros whispered as they hugged him closer. 

* * *

When Mildor came back he saw Maedhros asleep with Huan sleeping cuddled next to him. Maglor, Fingon, and Celegorm where just sitting there. They looked at him as he walked into the room. Fingon stood up and explained what happened. 

“Yeah. I figured,” Mildor replied. “I have a few ideas of how to help him. I came by to give you this to talk to him and something for him to take. Yet, you can give to him when he wakes up,” 

He handed Fingon a small vial of powder. He looked at it then at Mildor, “Put it in his food or in his drink. You can just put a bit in also I have this if he has another episode like he did.” 

He then gave Fingon a back that was tied up. Yet, it had a pretty strange smell to it. Mildor pushed it away from Fingon’s face as he was about to smell more of it. “This is stuff is very powerful,” He said. “It’ll calm down anything just have him smell it or inhale some of it. Yet, the side effect is that he’ll be a bit...loopy.” 

“You have a lot of strange stuff,” Celegorm said. 

“I am a healer who spent two years traveling around and sitting around plants all day. Weird is my definition, besides it’s my job to have things to help people.” Mildor replied. Celegorm just nodded and looked back to Maedros who was breathing soundly. 

“Thank you,” Fingon said as he put the things on the table by Maedhros’s bed but he kept the thing to calm Maedhros down in a pocket. 

“Well, I’ll leave now. Please come get me when he wakes up,” He said. 

“We will,” Maglor said as he looked up. Mildor gave a nod and then left the room. The group sighed and Maglor moved to put his feet out on the bed. He looked at Maedhros who was just holding Huan close. Maglor moved closer and put a hand on Maedhros’s head and ran his hand through his hair. He shifted and a bit but didn’t wake up. In a quiet voice he started singing an old song their mother sang to them.

_“_ _Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay_   
_Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay_

_Nómë númë cár-tya ta inyë mendë lindë le a fúmëlírë_   
_Nanwen ana-i yárë ve loo-li lai-lay_   
_A Inyë mendë lindë le fúmë-nna ta nyë mendë enwa _   
_Aista le yo melmë an mallë sana le lenna-” _

He paused as he saw Maedhros relaxing more as he sang. Maglor smiled and contiued on with the old lullaby. Maedhros slow breathing seemed to be lighter and he seemed much calmer. When he finished he still kept rubbing his brother’s head. He looked up and gave a light sigh as his singing put both Fingon and Celegorm to sleep as well. He sat back and eventually chuckled. He looked back at Maedhros and settled on softly humming to him.

**A/n: The song I had in quenya is called ‘Sleepsong’ I went through the first paragraph and translated it to the best of my abilities. Yet, as I went on it got very hard. Yet here is the first paragraph in english.**   
_ **-All rights of the song go the owner. ** _

_ **“Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay** _   
_ **Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay** _

_ **Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby** _   
_ **Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay** _   
_ **And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow** _   
_ **Bless you with love for the road that you go”** _


	13. Chapter 13

Maedhros shifted and slowly blinked his eyes open. He first realized that Huan was still snuggled into his side and he smiled as he ran his hand along the sleeping animals fur. He looked over and saw Fingon sitting up reading a book. He slowly sat up careful not to wake Huan in fear that if he did he’ll leave. He enjoyed having something warm and soft at his side. He scratched behind Huan’s ears a bit before he looked towards Fingon who looked up. 

“You’re awake,” Fingon said putting his book down with a smile. 

“Yeah,” Maedhros replied. 

“You’re are looking a bit better,” He said and Maedhros gave a small nod. Fingon smiled and moved next to the bed handing Maedhros a glass of water. At times when Maedhros his dexterity in his left hand, so Fingon helped Maedhros tip the glass back so he could drink without drenching himself. When he finished the glass Fingon moved it off to the side and looked at Maedhros. 

“Where are Kano and Turko?” Maedhros asked as he looked around the room finding his brothers missing. 

“They had to leave for a bit. They’ll be back later but Turko did instruct for Huan to stay here for now.” Fingon said. Maedhros did smile at that as he scratched under Huan’s head who rolled more into Maedhros. 

“He’s...really really soft,” Maedhros said. “It’s...nice,” 

“I am glad your happy,” Fingon said. “Mildor came here after you fell asleep. He has some more medicine for you to take as well something that if you get like that it will calm you down. He also wants to talk to you later. As well as he doesn't want you to be alone.” 

Maedhros gave a small sigh. He looked at the bookshelf for a few moments and looked at Fingon. His friend regarded him curiously as he saw a bit of a shy expression his face. Yet, it wasn’t his being caused by his fear, panic, or nervousness he got. It was something else. “Yes?” Fingon asked still gently.

“Can you...get me one of the poetry books on the shelf?” Maedhros asked softly. Fingon smiled and gave a nod. Fingon was one of the few people who knew Maedhros’s secrect fond love for poetry. Back in Valinor he would try out his own and send them to Fingon to get his opinion on it. He picked out off the shelf and handed it to Maedhros who carefully balanced it on his lap. He opened it and started reading it quietly while periodically moving his hand back to Huan’s head. The wolfhound had woken up at this point but was very content just resting his head by Meadhros’s legs. As well as the periodic scratches he got behind the ear as well as under his chin. 

As Maedhros relaxed into his book Fingon returned to his own. The two stayed like this for a bit over an hour. Yet, after sometime Maedhros stopped reading and looked towards the window. The curtains were drawn back allowing sunlight to stream inside. “Do you want to go read outside?” Fingon asked seeing his face. 

“I...still want to have privacy,” Maedhros said. 

“What about the balcony across the hall in the room Maldor is staying in? You can sit just in the doorway,” Fingon offered. “I think you’ll enjoy some fresh air,”

“Okay.” Maedhros said. He sat up and handed his book to Fingon. He slowly stood up and took Fingon’s help in walking over to the door. The black-haired cousin opened it and looked around once he was sure no one was coming he led Maedhros across the hall and to Maldor’s room. Luckily the healer answered quickly allowing the two (plus Huan who followed them at their heels). Fingon brought Maedhros to a chair before he put the books down. He explained to Maldor what Maedhros wanted to do for a bit. The haler nodded and helped Fingon set a comfortable spot up for Maedhros to be in. 

Maedhros drew in a small breath once he felt the wind against him. He breathed in the sweet air and smiled as he settled back into the soft pillows that were placed around the chair. The wind gently brushed against his skin and moved his hair a bit. 

“I forgot the air could smell sweet,” Maedhros said as he moved his hand up as if to catch it. 

“Yeah. The flowers are blooming and smell really nice,” Fingon said bringing a chair to sit by Maedhros. 

“It’s nice outside,” Maedhros added as let the sun touch his mared pale skin. He then looked at Fingon and said, “Maybe...maybe later on I can try to walk through the gardens?” 

“Of course,” Fingon said with a smile. Maedhros smiled a bit and turned his head to his book and Huan’s head which was laying on his lap happily. Fingon sat there for a few moments enjoying seeing this moment of pure peace Maedhros was able to have. He then had an idea and stood up but a few moments later came back. 

“What?” Maedhros asked looking at Fingon since he saw him leave his chair and go into the hallway for a few moments. 

“You’ll see,” Fingon said. Maedhros paled a bit and he swallowed. It took him a few moments to find his words again. 

“Please...can you tell me?” Maedhros asked his voice in a whisper. 

Fingon gave his friend a soft smile and put a hand on his shoulder. “I am just asking for some tea and sweets to be sent up. I figured...i thought that would be nice.” 

“That sounds good. It was...I don’t...not having someone tell me something is hard,” Maedhros mumbled looking down. Fingon realized that must have been something Mairon or Melkor had done. He moved closer to Maedhros and offered him a reassuring smile.

“Thank you,” Maedhros said. He then felt a lick at his hand and looked down at Huan who was looking at Maedhros as if to ask about his help. 

Maedhros smiled and leaned forward and hugged Huan. “You two Huan,” Maedhros said and he laughed lightly as Huan happily licked his face. From the spot where Mildor worked he was smiling as he saw Maedhros’s clear joy. He felt bad for the elf since he knew that Maedhros’s emotional, mental, and possibly physical state where still very unclear. At least right now was a better time. That was all they should look at. 

* * *

“You look happy,” A voice said. Maedhros looked up and was a bit surprised to see Caranthir standing there. It was an hour after Fingon and Maedhros finished a plate of sweets and some tea that Caranthir came to visit him.

“Moryo?” He asked. Caranthir nodded looked at Fingon who got up offering his chair next Maedhros. After a few moments Caranthir sat down. Finon said something softly to Maedhors who gave a little nod and Fingon went deeper into the room leaving the two to talk. 

“I...I am sorry,” Caranthir said after several minutes of being unable to speak. “I am sorry I haven’t come to visit you sooner. I just-” 

Yet, Caranthir looked away for a moment and moved his hand to his face. When he turned back to face Maedhros his older brother saw a few tears in his eyes. Maedhros gestured Caranthir to come closer and once he did Maedhros pulled him into a hug. Caranthir normally would have hated a surprise hug. Yet, right now he hugged his older brother back and shook slightly. After several moments Caranthir sat back down and offered Maedhros one of his rare half smiles. 

“It is really good to see you doing this well,” He said. “I head about how you were doing and it’s...it is nice to see you like this.” 

“It’s good able to be like this. I am feeling stronger everyday.” Maedhros said clenching his left hand into a fist before opening it. 

Caranthir nodded and said, “When you are up to it Celegorm and I thought that maybe we can help you practice horse riding. I have a way where you could still ride easily with-” he paused and glanced at Maedhros’s bandaged stump uneasily. Luckily his older brother understood and was in a good enough mood to be able to nod. 

“Thank you Moryo,” Maedhros said. 

“Of course,” Caranthir said. He swallowed a bit and gave a bit of a cough. He stood up and mumbled something that Maedhros couldn’t quite make out. Yet, his younger brother suddenly hugged him and whispered something quietly to him. Maedhros’s face melted into a soft smile as he hugged his brother back. Once Caranthir let go he stood up gave a light cough and a half nod to Maedhros before he left. 

“What was that?” Fingon asked as he came back over. 

“Just a visit,” Maedhros replied simply as he looked back to his poetry book. Fingon just nodded and patted Maedhros’s shoulder. After another hour and a half of reading Fingon tapped Maedhros on the shoulder for him to look up. Maedhros blinked in surprise as he saw the sun just starting to set. Fingon stood up but he felt Maedhros grab at his sleeve. 

“Can you watch it with me?” Maedhros his eyes looking from Fingon to the setting sun. His friend sat down and said, “Of course.” 

Maedhros watched with a relaxed face as the sun set once it did Maedhros moved back into the room as Fingon and Mildor moved everything back it. The healer then turned to Maedhros and said, “Before you back to your room I want to see how you are healing alright?” 

Maedhros nodded and remained as still as he could to allow Mildor to check over his healing scars as well as his hand. It took awhile since Maedhros still like Mildor to wait after he checked one area before starting another. Once they were done with that Mildor had Maedhros drink a small glass of water which he added some herbs to. 

“Alright. Everything is looking good but I want you to do more movement. Even if it’s walking around your room a bit more.” Mildor instructed. 

“Okay,” Maedhros replied. 

“As well as you should try to clean yourself up tonight,” the healer added. Maedhros then nodded and looked at him to see if he was finished. The healer offered him a warm smile and said, “Alright. I can tell you are tired. So, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Well goodnight and I do hope you sleep well.” 

“Thank you. Goodnight,” Maedhros said he then stood up slowly and followed Fingon back to his room. Once there Fingon got some sleep clothes ready after Maedhros got cleaned up. It took some time for that to happen but once Maedhros finished a warm bath he (with slight help from Fingon still) slid on his soft pajamas and settled down into bed. His face still held a smile as Huan once again joined the red-haired elf on the bed. 

“Alright. Dinner is coming,” Fingon informed him as he sat down across from him. 

“Thank you.” Maedhros said. 

“Nelyo. You do not have to thank me every time I do something for you. I do not mind and I just want to help you. So no thanks is required.” Fingon said. Maedhros opened his mouth, then closed it and gave a slightly lopsided smile he got at times. Fingon just chuckled and thought for a moment then started to ask Maedhros about the poems he read through. Maedhros told him with happiness in his voice the conversation lasted until dinner came. The two ate and then after Maedhros took more of the medicine that Mildor told him too. 

“Finno?” Maedhros asked sleepily as he sunk into the bed. 

“Hmm?” Fingon asked as he looked up at Maedhros who’s eyes were drooping. 

“How...how long do I keep having to take all this medicine and herbs?” Maedhros asked. 

“I don’t know. We can ask Mildor tomorrow,” Fingon said. Maedhros thought for a moment before giving a nod of approval. Then he slipped off to sleep with Huan curling up beside him settling his head on his stomach allowing his left arm to loop over him and lay against his fur. Fingon waited till he saw Maedhros breathing deeply with his eyes closed before he laid down on the couch and pulled the blanket around himself.


	14. Chapter 14

The next few days went very similar to the day before with Maedhros getting up, eating breakfast, going to the balcony in Mildor’s room with Fingon to read more. Yet, it was mid-day when Mildor came over and sent Fingon out of the room. Maedhros eyed Mildor with concern as he sat down across from him, “It’s okay. I just want to talk to you in private.” He said. 

“Alright,” Maedhros said closing his book and looking at Mildor. 

“I know it’s hard to handle with what happened. Yet, I would like to start working on it with you but I won’t if you are not ready.” Mildor said. 

“I...I wank to get passed it,” Maedhros said. “It’s hard and the worst is...at times I don’t know if everything that’s been happening here is...is real.” 

“It’s real, I am real. The chair you’re sitting in? That’s real. Fingon who’s pacing back and forth outside the door. That’s real too. Just as Huan’s head laying in your lap, that’s real.” He said. 

Maedhros nodded and swallowed hard. He took a soft breath and said, “I want to get passed but-” 

“-you’re not ready to start?” Mildor asked. 

“Yeah,” Maedhros replied. Mildor nodded and handed Maedhros a small journal. 

“Alright. Until you are try writing in this, you can write and put anything you want in here. You do not have to show anyone it’s just for you.” Mildor said. 

“I can’t write in it,” Maedhros said looking at his left hand. 

“The writing doesn't have to be neat besides if you are worried about what someone may think of how your writing will look. You can practice here,” Mildor said as he still held the book out. Maedhros nodded and took the small journal and placed it next to him. 

“Can...can you let Fingon back in here?” Maedhros asked. 

“Yes but I want you to try walking around a bit more,” Mildor said. Maedhros gave a nod and settled back in the chair. He looked over as Fingon came in but this time the twins were with him. 

“Ambarussa,” Maedhros said with a smile as the twins hugged him. He hugged back and they stepped back after a few moments. 

“Nelyo! You would never guess what happened today,” Amras said. 

“Or you may but I don’t think you will,” Amrod finished for his twin. They waited as they looked at him waiting for him to guess. Yet, Maedhros just shook his head and both the twins grinned brightly. They then started to tell Maedhros about how they got stuck on part of a cliff but they found a way to go sledding down it without breaking their bones. Yet, what they found to use as a sled did hit a rock and sent them both into a stream where Amrod’s hand landed on a fish. Maedhros just listened to the story with a smile. An old part of him wanted to scold them for getting stuck like that in the first place since they should have known better. Yet, he just didn’t think he had it in him right then so he just sat there while they contiued on with their day. 

“I hate to interrupt but you should walk around Maedhros,” Mildor said stopping the twin’s tale just as they got to a prake they tried pulling on Caranthir. Maedhros nodded and slowly stood up. Fingon stood up but stayed back a bit to let Maedhros try it on his own. Maedhros slowly walked around the room back and forth from the far wall back to the chair. 

“How does it feel?” Mildor asked. 

“Good,” Maedhros replied as he took a few more steps. 

“Alright. A few more moments then rest,” He then said. Maedhros nodded and walked around for a bit longer. Once he was done he settled down in his chair. Once he sat down the twins shared a little look and stood up and hugged Maedhros tightly. When they pulled back Maedhros frowned as he saw both twins had tears in their eyes. 

“Ambarussa?” He asked looking at the pair before him. Both twins used a sleeve to dry their eyes before looking at him. 

“We are fine,” Amras said. 

“Yeah. Just have something in our eye,” Amrod added. Maedhros looked at them as they gave him another hug before they pulled back. 

“Well. We better go,” Amrod said. 

“Yeah. We actually are going to help Curufin with something,” Amras explained. 

“Alright,” Maedhros said. He waved the twins goodbye and settled back. He looked at Huan who looked back up at him. He rubbed his head and looked at Fingon. 

  
“Finno? I would like to go back to my room,” Maedhros said. 

“Alright,” Fingon said. He gathered their books and walked with Maedhros across the hall. Once they got there Maedhros moved and sat by the window and gazed out. Fingon put down the books and sat down by him. 

“Maedhros? What’s wrong?” Fingon asked.   
“It’s nothing,” Maedhros replied. 

“I know something’s up, it is okay. You can talk to me about it.” Fingon said. 

“I told her I’d keep my eyes on them. I am the oldest, I am supposed to protect them. I am the one they should be able to look up too.” Maedhros said clenching the fabric of the tunic. “Yet, all I did since we got here is get captured. Made them worry about me and feel sorry for me. I am not supposed to be like this! I am supposed to be strong! I am not supposed to be...to be weak like this.” 

“Nelyo. It’s alright, you’ll get better. All you-” But Maedhros cut his friend off by turning his head sharply. 

“Alright? Finno I can’t go to the bathroom alone since I may start to hallucinate! I struggle with just taking a few steps and I have to take who knows much herbs to just let me sleep. It is not alright! I won’t be like how I used to be! You can’t even start to imagine what I went through there! What those monsters did to me...what they forced me to do. Forced me to realize.” Maedhros snapped he then swallowed and hug his head. A choked sob quietly came out of his mouth as he curled in on himself. “I am not going to get better Finno….” He whispered quietly. 

“Mayo,” Fingon said and put his hand on Maedhros’s shoulder. Yet, he pulled away and shook his head. 

“Just go. I want to be alone,” Maedhros muttered. 

“Maedhros,” Fingon said a bit more firmly. 

“Just go Fingon! I want to be alone...please….just leave me alone.” Maedhros pleaded. Fingon look at his friend with a broken heart. He nodded and stood up. 

“Alright. I’ll be right outside if you do need me,” Fingon said as softly as he could. Maedhros ignored him and just looked out the window brokenly. Fingon sighed and stepped out of the room, he sighed deeply as once the door closed he heard silent crying. Fingon clenched his fists as he moved and sat against on the floor against the wall. It wasn’t far; not fair at all. 


	15. Chapter 15

It had been a few since Fingon left the room and Maedhros still was curled in on himself crying. He felt a slight nudge against his arm. Maedhros looked with tears in his eyes and he reached out and scratched Huan’s head. 

“Thank you Huan but I want some space,” Maedhros said tiredly. Huan seemed to shake his head and nuzzled himself closer. Maedhros sighed a bit and let Huan cuddle close to him. He wrapped an arm around him and half buried his face in the soft fur. He let himself cry a bit more as his mind drifted back to two different things that Mairon said to him.  _ “You know what I think, elf? I think you rather like this...the pain, torture, starvation, the isolation. You think you deserve it? Don’t you little Kinslayer?”  _

_ “It is ironic. You had a feeling you were walking into a trap but you came anyone because of that oath. Yet, it is funny how you came alone to protect your brothers and how they are just leaving you here to suffer. I guess they don't really care for you like you care for them.”  _

Maedhros shook his head. Those two things broke him, they hurt him the most. He shut his eyes and did his best to make it stop. It didn’t. Maedhros just sat back and let the tears stream down his face. Huan gave his face a few licks and Maedhros just patted his head. He just swallowed unable to speak. He slowly stood up and walked over to the bed and laid down curling up once more. He felt Huan joining him which forced Maedhros to smile a bit. He was happy that Celegorm had such a loyal and loving companion. Since he figured his brother must have told him that he needed someone to keep an eye on. It was clear that Huan took on this task with full readiness. Yet, the smile soon faded as the memories and pain came back. 

He looked at his left hand and he made it clench the blankets. He then looked at his right or where his right one should have been. He shook his head and shut his eyes. He was too weak...he was too tired. He was so tired. Yes he had been slowly healing but it was still exhausting. He just wanted to let go...to just drift off. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go home so badly. He sighed softly and curled up closing his eyes. 

* * *

_ Maedhros shifted and looked around his heart started to race as he thought this was another nightmare. Yet, it didn’t seem to be like it was. He was surrounded by a white soothing mist. “Maedhros,” A soft voice from behind him.  _

_ He stiffened and turned swallowing hard. “Mamil?”  _

_ Nerdanel smiled sweetly at him. “Hello, my little flame.” She said.  _

_ Maedhros instantly fell into her arms a quiet sob came out. He shook a bit as she wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She just ran a hand through his hair gently. After a while he quieted down and sat up. Tears still stuck to his face but Nerdanel whipped them away gently.  _

_ Maedhros opened his mouth and a jumbled sentence came out. Nerdanel put a hand on his shoulder and said, “Shh. It’s just a dream,”  _

_ Maedhros swallowed and rubbed his sleeve over his face. He nodded and looked back at his mother’s sweet smiling face. “Mamil...I am so sorry,” He choked. “I am so sorry for leaving you! I am so sorry for what happened. I couldn’t keep an eye on my brothers...I can’t keep them safe now. I am-”  _

_ “Maitimo.” She said a bit sternly but gently. “I am not angry with you for leaving. I do miss you terribly but in all truth I know if you or any of your brothers have stayed. Any of you wouldn’t be happy, you would be worried about your father and the others.”  _

_ Maedhros looked at her and nodded slightly. She put her hand to his cheek and lifted his chin up. “Maitimo. Come on, look at me,”  _

_ Maedhros slowly looked up at her and she kissed his forehead and put a hand on his scarred cheek. She then looked in his eyes. “Maitimo. I love you and I will always be proud of you.” She said.  _

_ “Proud of me? I am weak and what I did-” He started but she gently shushed him.  _

_ “Yes. I am proud of you, for what happened I can not blame you for that. I know your heart, I know who you are. That wasn’t you. That was the oath.” She said. “For being weak? Maitimo, everyone is weak at one moment or another. Everyone has things that they struggle through or a day where they do not want to try. Yet, there is no shame in being weak.”  _

_ Maedhros just nodded and asked, “Mamil. What do I do?”  _

_ “Try. You are my strong and brave flame. Remember when you were little and you really wanted to learn how to use a sword. You took every book you could find as well as finding a bunch of sticks so you can try to teach yourself. Do you remember what happened once you got a proper tutor?”  _

_ “I struggled,” Maedhros said.  _

_ “That’s right. You struggled and over that time you even broke your wrist on your left hand. Yet, do you remember what happened through it?” She asked.  _

_ “I pushed myself and struggled through it.” He said.  _

_ “Right. You should do the same thing now,” She said. “You are strong enough to get through this. You are brave, strong, and you have a lot of honor. Most importantly, you are my little flame and I love you. I love you with all my heart. No matter what happens. What you do. I will always love you and be proud of you.”  _

_ Maedhros hugged her tightly and she wrapped her arms around her. After a few moments he let go and said, “I know you are telling me all this but I just want to come home. I am so tired…so tired.”  _

_ “Someday you will. Maitimo, someday this will all be over. Someday you’ll be able to come home,” She said.  _

_ “Really?” He asked.  _

_ “Yes. This will pass, someday it’ll all pass.” Nerdanel reassured him. Maedhros swallowed once more and closed his eyes. When he opened them he looked at her and held his head up.  _

_ “Do you really think I can get through this?” He asked.  _

_ “Of course,” She said.  _

_ “Then I will try. I don’t want to stay weak. I don’t want to stay like this,” Maedhros said. “Yet...how do I deal with the nightmares of blood, torture, and all that pain. How can I deal with that?”  _

_ “Deal with it one day at a time, at those hard moments just focus on living. Nothing more,” She said.  _

_ “Alright. Mamil...was this...is this real?” Maedhros asked.  _

_ “What do you think?” She asked.  _

_ “It feels real,” He said holding her hand.  _

_ “Then it’s real,” She said. Maedhros smiled and hugged her tightly. She hugged back and held him close.  _

_ “I really miss you,” He said.  _

_ “I miss you too,” Nerdanel said as he pressed closer.  _

_ “Mamil? Can I just stay here for a bit longer?” He asked.  _

_ “Yes,” She said holding her son close. She placed a soft kiss to his head and held him close. WIth her free hand she ran it through his hair lovingly with a gentle touch. They stayed like that for sometime but eventually Maedhros felt his body starting to wake up. He sat up and looked at Nerdanel he gave her a hug and said, “Thank you...thank you so much,”  _

_ “Of course. I love you my little flame, I love you and I will never stop loving you. Never forget that.” She said.  _

_ “I won’t I really won’t,” He said.  _

_ She gave him a smile and one final kiss to his head. “You are my strong little flame. Now, go on. I know you can do this. You can fight these shadows I know you can.” She said.  _

_ Maedhros smiled and nodded. She smiled back and their surroundings faded.  _ Maedhros then opened his eyes and found himself lying on the bed in his room. He sat up and looked to Huan who was sleeping next to him. He put a hand over his chest and clenched it tightly. 

“Thank you  _ Mamil, _ ” He said softly. He then stood up and walked to the door to find Fingon outside asleep. He walked over and bent down. “Finno.” He said. 

“Hmm...Maedhros?” Fingon asked sitting up. “Are you alright? I mean I know your not and-” 

“I am sorry Finno. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that...I just was...am overwhelmed and tired by everything. Yet, I am not going to give up.” He said. 

“That’s really good...Maedhros. What happened? You look...hopeful,” Fingon said. 

“I am. Well, a bit hopeful.” He said. 

“What happened?” Fingon asked. 

Maedhros thought for a moment then smiled. “I got some great advice,” He said as he stood up. Fingon stood up with him. 

“Fingon. I want to ask Curufin something...care to come with me?” He asked. 

Fingon looked at him surprised. Maedhros hated being around other people now and Curufin’s forge was on the other side of the palace. To get there they had to go through main hallways where normally elves where always walking around. 

“Are you sure?” Fingon asked. 

“Yes. Care to walk with me,” Maedhros said. His voice was a bit tense and he looked a bit worried. Yet, he tried to sound confident even though he seemed a bit worried. However, he was taking deep breaths and was managing himself the best he could. 

Fingon then nodded and said, “Alright. Of course,” 

Maedhros smiled somewhat and walked with Fingon towards Curufin’s forge. Fingon eyed him and asked, “What did happen?” 

“Nothing much, just got some advice,” Maedhros replied with a light smile. 


	16. Chapter 16

When the door to Curufin’s forge opened he almost fell over when he saw Maedhros and Fingon standing there. Yet, he regained himself the best he could and smiled as the two walked in. 

“Maedhros? I am surprised to see you...I mean I am happy to see you but just...I am surprised.” Curufin said or stammered. 

Maedhros just shrugged and said, “It’s fine Kurvo.” 

Curufin smiled and leaned against one of the worktables. “So? What do I owe the honor of this visit?” He asked. 

Maedhros was quiet and took a deep breath. He clenched his left hand before looking at Curufin and said, “I want you to make me a sword I can use with my left hand,” 

Curufin and Fingon both looked surprised but before Curufin could say a word Fingon was by Maedhros. “What brought this on? Nelyo, I am happy to see you are doing better but to go right to-” Maedhros cut off Fingon’s attempted lecture-rant by covering his mouth with his left hand. 

“Fingon,” Maedhros said with his voice steady. “I want this...I need this. I want to feel like I can be strong again. Please. Let me do this.” 

Fingon sighed as he looked at Maedhros. “Alright,” He said. 

Maedhros then looked at Curufin and asked, “Can you do that?” 

“Of course,” Curufin said as he walked over and took a quick look at Maedhros’s hand. He then walked over to the table. Grabbed some loose paper and a quill. A minute later he showed a quick sketch of the potential sword. The drawing depicted was a long that had a slight curve to it. The handle of the sword was slightly curved as well so Maedhros could move it easier with one hand. There was a swirled design going up the side of the blade. 

“It’s just a quick design, I’ll draw it up in more detail as soon as I can. Once that’s done, I’ll get right to work on making the actual sword.” Curufin explained. 

“Thank you,” Maedhros said with a light smile. 

“Of course,” Curufin said as he moves and sat back down to start to draw up the full plan. Maedhros stayed there for a bit and gave a soft gasp as he looked at the fire. His left hand moved to hold where a scar was on his side. His breath was a bit fast but it calmed a bit as Fingon rubbed his shoulder. 

“Would you want to go back to your room?” Fingon asked. Maedhros looked like he was about to shake his head, yes but he then shook it no. 

“I want...to stay here a bit longer,” Maedhros said. Fingon nodded and just stayed by him. Maedhros took deep breaths and eventually was able to calm himself down. 

“Nelyo?” Fingon asked after a few moments. 

“I am alright,” Maedhros said with a slight nod. 

“Good,” Fingon said as Maedhros slowly stood up. Fingon joined him but waited by the door as Maedhros walked over to where Curufin worked. 

“Thank you,” Maedhros said to him. 

“Of course,” Curufin replied looking up from the work. Maedhros gave him a bit of a smile and patted his shoulder before heading off with Fingon into the hallway. 

The pain walked in silence for a bit of time before Maedhros said, “I know you do not agree with me and my choice in this.”

“I respect it though,” Fingon replied. 

“Even so...thank you. I need this for myself Finno.” Maedhros said. 

“Of course,” Fingon said. “I want you to do what will ever help you.” 

“Thank you but I do have a request,” Maedhros said. 

“What?” Fingon asked as they entered Maedhros’s room and he closed the door. 

“Do you remember long ago I help first trained you how to use a sword?” Maedhros asked as he sat down by the window. 

“Of course,” Fingon said with a smile. 

“Well, I was hoping once that sword is read...you’ll be willing to train with me,” Maedhros said. 

Fingon looked at him and with a smile, he said, “It would be an honor.” 

“Thank you, Finno,” Maedhros said. Fingon nodded and came over to sit down by his friend. Yet, as Maedhros looked over his shoulder out the window. He gasped and slowly slipped down to the floor clutching his right arm tightly. 

“Maedhros!” Fingon said as he dropped down next to him. Maedhros then grabbed onto him with his eyes shut. He took heavy breaths holding onto his friend. Fingon just tried to whisper comforting things to him. 

Maedhros could only nod in reply and after a while, he calmed down to the point where his breathing was steady. “Nelyo? What happened?” Fingon asked softly. 

“Thangorodrim,” Maedhros managed. “I thought...I thought I was back there. My hand...it hurt...but it’s not-” 

“It’s okay,” Fingon said seeing as it was best to cut him off right now. “Just breathe and rest. I’ll be right here,” He assured him. 

Maedhros nodded and stood up slowly following Fingon to the bed. Maedhros laid down and curled up. Huan who was wondering where they went soon joined and curled up by Maedhros who fell asleep rather quickly. As they slept Fingon sat on the chair by the bed and his mind drifted back to a younger time. When Maedhros did teach him a bit to use a sword. 

* * *

**Many years ago **

“MAYO!” A young Fingon called to his cousin. The older red-haired elf turned to face him and smiled lightly. 

“Yes? What is it Finno?” Maedhros asked. 

“Grandpa Finwe says you can use a sword,” Fingon said. 

“I am still learning myself, Finno,” Maedhros replied. 

“Can you tell me what you know then? Please!?!” Fingon asked. 

“Fingon. Learning a sword is a challenge,” Maedhros said kneeling down to Fingon’s level. Yet, the young elf shook his head stubbornly. 

“I do not mind! I really want to learn a sword,” Fingon said. “Please?!” 

“You should ask your father first,” He replied. 

“I did! He called for a trainer but it’ll take forever before he comes.” Fingon exaggerated. 

Maedhros sighed and said, “Very well, I’ll show you what I can. Come on, we’ll try to find a practice sword about your size.” 

Fingon cheered and followed Maedhros happily as the two headed to the back of the armory. It took Maedhros only a few moments to find a practice sword that was the proper size for Fingon. He handed it over and the young elf took it with excitement and glee.   
Fingon then followed Maedhros right outside where he sat down and said, “First off you have to hold it like this.” 

He moved Fingon’s left hand around the sword since yous young cousin was in fact left-handed. “There you’ll have a better grip on it now. Remember it’s a sword, not a broomstick.” Maedhros said. 

“Right,” Fingon said and held it the way Maedhros showed him. “Like this?” 

“Perfect, Finno,” Meadhros said with a smile. Fingon grinned back and the two went back to the very basics of practicing. 

**End of Flashback**


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the very short update.

**A Few Weeks Later…**

Maedhros moved back as Fingon came at him with his sword. He moved the blade and winced slightly as they clashed together. Fingon pressed forward slightly forcing Maedhros to stumble back but he was able to keep balanced. As he moved back he moved his sword with him and charged again but Fingon was well prepared and was able to slap the blade out of his hand, sending it a couple of feet away. 

Maedhros breathed deeply as Fingon moved back and pointed his sword down. “Do you want to stop?” He asked. 

“No,” He said with a shake of his head grabbing his sword and turning back to Fingon. He positioned himself but he straightened up as someone called, “Maedhros.” 

He turned around to see his Uncle Fingolfin with Mildor. “Yes?” Maedhros asked. 

“I wanted to say goodbye,” Mildor said. 

“You are leaving?” Maedhros asked. 

“I am,” He replied. “Physically you are healed, at times you will have some pain but I have written down everything you’ll need if something happens. As for...the other aspects, I only know so much about the mind. Yet, I gave you techniques that have helped me.”

“Helped you?” Celegorm asked who overheard and was watching the training session with Huan and Maglor. Maglor glared at him and said, “Turko! That’s rude!” 

“No. It’s fine, he did not know. Let’s just say I lost someone very close to me and it caused my life to go down a path I wouldn’t have been on if they were still there.” Mildor said pain clearly heard in his voice. He then turned to Maedhros and smiled, “Anyway. It’s very good to see you are doing far better.” 

“Yes. Thank you for all you did and where able to do for me.” Maedhros said. 

“I am a healer, it’s my job,” Mildor said. “Well, I am not one for long goodbyes. I wish you well and hope you just get stronger. Maedhros.” 

“Thank you,” He said. 

“Of course,” Mildor replied. He then gave a low bow and smiled as he walked away. He paused for a moment and said, “To let you know one last thing. You were far less of a pain then Finwe was to me, that elf complained to the high stars about everything.” 

He then chuckled as he continued away as everyone there called for him to wait and explain. Yet, Mildor just turned left that area and was gone. Those who were there just stared after him looked at each other and all shared a light laugh. 


	18. Chapter 18

It was much later into that very night as Maedhros gave a staggered breath and shifted backward a bit. He felt sore and was exhausted. Yet, he stayed focused as he moved through the basic steps of swordsmanship. 

“Maedhros? What are you still doing up?” Asked Maglor. Maedhros looked over at his brother who was standing there with his uncle. 

“Practicing,” Maedhros said breathlessly. 

“You still need time to rest,” Fingolfin said. 

Maedhros shook his head and went back to his practicing. However, his eyes fluttered a bit and he fell back. Luckily his uncle and brother had came over and they caught him. Once they did they pried the practice sword he was using away. Which caused Maedhros to quickly move away from them and eye them a bit. 

“Nelyo,” Maglor said softly holding his hands up. “It’s okay. Relax.” 

Maedhros let out a long breath and gave a soft nod. He then looked at his hand and sighed, it was slightly blistered and scratched up from his constant practice that he forced himself to do all day. 

“Come on,” Fingolfin said as he took Maedhros’s arm. “You should get some rest.” 

“Alright,” Maedhros replied tiredly. “Yet, someone has to get him.” 

He pointed over his shoulder at Fingon who did stay with Maedhros but he had fallen asleep leaning against Huan along with Celegorm. Yet, his brother neverminded sleeping outside so they did not need to worry about. They just needed to get Fingon inside though. 

Fingolfin walked over and picked up his son and Maglor came over to help Maedhros. The red-haired elf was so tired he was almost falling over. Maglor took Maedhros’s arm and led him inside. Fingolfin followed them carrying the sleeping elf. Maglor looked at Maedhros and then at Fingon and chuckled. 

“What’s so funny?” Maedhros asked looking at him. 

“Nothing really,” Maglor replied. Maedhros just nodded a bit and leaned a bit more on his brother. Shortly he was led to his room where he went to the bathroom. His brother came with him and helped him take care of his bruised hand. 

“I wish I could take care of this on my own.” Maedhros said as Maglor cleaned up the blood. 

“I know,” Maglor replied. As he wrapped the blisters in a soft bandage. After he finished Maedhros moved to his bed and once he laid down he realized just how tired he was. He heard his uncle and brother say goodnight to him. He just nodded a bit and shortly after he fell asleep. 

~~~

That morning when Fingon woke up he saw that Maedhros was sitting awake but he seemed to be in one of his light dazes. Fingon walked over and sat down on the bed and asked gently, “Maedhros?”

Maedhros blinked startled looking up at him. He seemed startled and confused, “Finno?” He asked shakily. 

“Easy.” Fingon said. “Just breath,” 

Maedhros gave a bit of nod and let out a long breath. He closed his hand and took a deep breath before he looked back at Fingon. His cousin was gesturing for him to calm down. Maedhros took deep breaths and closed his eyes. A few more moments when Maedhros just opened his eyes. He looked to be more back to his senses but he still looked worn out. 

“What happened?” Fingon asked. 

“A bad dream,” Maedhros said. 

“Want to talk to me about it?” He asked. Maedhros gestured to the scarring at his right arm to his shoulder. The scar was deep and still could start to bleed at times. It was deep and looked all jagged and how it branched out across his shoulder. Besides just being a scar from what was most likely was a knife it was also a bad burn wound.

“Is it how you got it?” Fingon asked. 

Maedhros nodded and swallowed. He started to shake and shook his head, “I was asleep...I woke up to...to...to him burning my shoulder.” He managed. “He was too close...way to close. It hurt…there was a lot of blood and the smell...the burning smell...it-” 

Yet his face got very pale as he spoke and he stood up and bolted into the bathroom. Once Fingon got there he was hunched over the toilet as he heaved. Fingon knelt down to sit next to him but made sure he gave Maedhros the space he needed. After a few more moments passed Maedhros sat down on the floor holding his stomach. 

“I am not going to stay weak,” Maedhros said quietly. “I am not…” 

“I know Mayo,” Fingon said softly. “You won’t’. You are going to get past this.” 

Maedhros could just nod and coughed a bit into his hand. He then looked at Fingon with a few tears on his face. “Why did they do what they did?” He asked his voice cracked. 

“I don’t know,” Fingon said softly. 

Maedhros nodded and curled up holding his stomach. Most likely due to the memory of the smell and how it felt. Fingon gave a soft sigh and stood up. “Come on. We should try to find Celegorm and Huan, it maybe a bit helpful.” He offered. 

“Alright,” Maedhros said softly and stood up and held his arms around himself. He followed Fingon outside the room. They only had to walk down the hallway and turn the corner before they spotted Celegorm who was speaking to an exhausted looking Curufin. Fingon’s sister Aredhel was there as well and she apparently was getting into an argument with the two. Yet, once they saw them Huan stood up and bounded over to him. 

Maedhros smiled softly and bent down. He rubbed Huan’s chin and he felt himself relax as he petted the large white hound. He then laughed a bit as Huan licked Maedhros’s face. His brother’s and other cousin smiled a bit. 

“Hey Nelyo,” Aredhel said as she walked over. 

“Hello Aredhel,” Maedhros said as he was kneeling down by Huan. She smiled and dropped down by Huan as well. She scratched Huan’s head and Huan seemed to grin very happy with all the attention he was getting. 

She talked with him lightly and Maedhros calmed down more as he talked. After a few more minutes the group went to eat while Curufin went back to his forge to continue on his work. After they ate Maedhros went back outside to practice but he was joined by the others. 

Aredhel offered her assistance as well to help Maedhros with some moments. He did accept the help and was grateful for everything everyone was doing for him. Yet, he still felt in easy around everyone or more then two people. He shook his head and pushed his uneasiness away just focusing on what his sword practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this has nothing to do with the story but check out this crochet I made of Celegorm and his buddy
> 
> https://www.deviantart.com/hopesongs/art/Celegorm-and-Huan-827781197


	19. Chapter 19

Maedhros was deep in thought gazing blankly out his window when he gave a startled jump when he felt a hand lay down on his shoulder. He turned quickly staring wide-eyed at who was behind him, but his shoulders relaxed slightly when he saw it was only his uncle. 

“Oh...it’s only you,” Maedhros said. 

“Yes. I am sorry I startled you but I just came to see how you were doing,” Fingolfin replied as he pulled a chair over and sat across from Maedhros who went back into the position he was in before. He looked out the window before he looked at Fingolfin and asked, “Do you...do you hate me?” 

“What? Of course not,” Fingolfin said. Maedhros gave a small nod and looked back out the window and sighed softly. 

“Maedhros?” Fingolfin asked. The red-haired elf took a few moments before he looked back at Fingolfin and said, “It’s nothing. Just forget it.” 

“I would like to try to help if I can. What’s wrong?” He asked. 

Maedhros sighed and said, “I do know that Fingon and a few others aren’t mad at me but everyone else? My father and brothers caused so much hardship on you, your family, and all the other elves who followed you. I told them we should send the ships back but my father...he didn’t listen to me. I tried but-” Maedhros’s voice fell as he looked at his hand with a horrified expression. His hand shook as he sat there and in a shaky voice, he said, “I killed them...everyone who died crossing the Helcaraxe...it’s my fault. They were innocent...I don’t-” 

Yet, Maedhros just dropped his head into his hand. His arm wrapped around his trembling body as he sat there. Fingolfin looked at his nephew for a few moments before he moved next to him and hugged him. “Maedhros.” He said softly after Maedhros’s shaking calmed down. The hurt elf looked up slowly and Fingolfin then continued, “I do not blame you for the burning of the ships. Fingon did convince me that you were not apart of that. Also, you are not responsible for the deaths that happened at the Helcaraxe. You were not the one that caused any of the deaths and-and neither were your brothers. So, please stop blaming yourself for this.” 

Maedhros swallowed hard and nodded as he sat back and rubbed some tears away. “I’ll try,” He replied softly. 

“Good,” Fingolfin said. “Also, I may have had many disagreements with your father but despite that. He still shares part of my blood and as hard as it is to forgive. I do forgive him and hold nothing against him,” 

“You do?” Maedhros asked. 

“Yes. In truth, I learned this from you,” He replied. Maedhros just replied with a very puzzled expression. Fingolfin then continued on and said, “I watched how you struggled and still are struggling to get back some sense of normality. As I saw this I realized that you did not deserve this as well as if you can keep standing up and trying to get your life back. Then I have no right to stay in the past and hold grudges against my half-brother.” 

“Thank you, Uncle,” Maedhros replied. 

“Of course,” Fingolfin replied. 

Maedhros nodded and took a few deep breaths still calming himself down from his small episode. After he was done he looked at the chess game that was set up and then looked at his Uncle. “Care for a game?” He asked. 

“Alright,” Fingolfin said as he stood up and brought the game over for Maedhros to make things easier for him. He sat down and the two started playing. 

* * *

After a few games, Fingolfin sat back shaking his head in wonder. “You are still very good at this,” He said. They played a few games over a few hours and Maedhros won almost all of them, where Fingolfin only won a few, but there were about two which ended in a stalemate. 

“Well, my father did invent this game and did ask me for some advice here and there about a few things,” Maedhros said.

“Of course,” Fingolfin said with a light chuckle. “Even though I was not the closest to your father I do think he would be proud of how strong you have become.” 

Maedhros stopped at that and smiled, “Thank you...Uncle, I know my brothers have been dealing with most of the issues in the kingdom but do you think I am ready to take back my position?” 

“I think that’ll be a better decision left to you,” Fingolfin said. “Yet, if you are concerned to go right back into it. You can start with Maglor just bringing you small problems or simple things that need to be signed.” 

Maedhros thought about that for a few moments before he nodded and said, “I think that can work. Thank you...again.” 

“It’s not a problem,” Fingolfin said waving his hand. “Now, I should be going. Also, it looks about time for your sparing session with Fingon.” 

Maedhros turned his head and looked outside at the sun. “Right. It is,” Maedhros said as he stood up quickly and grabbed his clothes and moved into the bathroom to change into better-suited clothes for training. When he left the game was put away and Fingolfin left the room and Maedhros took a few deep breaths before he stepped out to meeting Fingon outside. 

As he walked he started to feel convinced again that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Like he knew that he was going to be able to get past this. He will survive this. It was very good to have this feeling once more. 


	20. Chapter 20

Maedhros was staring blankly at the papers that were on his desk. He had taken back some duties of king but he just didn’t feel right. It just seemed wrong as he was dealing with the papers and the role of king. It was just all wrong. He shut his eyes and took a few deep breaths but he stiffened as he heard the door open. He opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder at his door. Fingon walked in and offered him a smile. 

“Hey,” Fingon said. “Are you alright?” 

“Hmm? Uh...yeah...fine,” He said softly. 

Fingon frowned and walked over and asked, “Nelyo? Are you sure?” 

_ “Yes. Nelyo...are you alright?”  _ Maedhros tensed as he heard Marion’s mocking voice in the back of his head. He swallowed hard and when he opened his eyes he just turned and looked at Fingon who was looking at him with concern. Maedhros stood up and sat on his bed and took a few deep breaths. 

“I can’t do this Finno,” He said in a shaky voice. 

“What do you mean?” Fingon asked. Maedhros just waved his hand a bit at the desk and then looked down. 

“I can’t take care of our people...not when at random moments I feel...I feel him staring over my shoulder and mocking me.” Maedhros said. Fingon frowned slightly and came over to him and sat next to him and put a hand on his shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“What do you want to do then?” he asked. Maedhros just shook his head and said, “I need some time to think about this...I mean I want to be there for my people. Yet, I do not think I can…” 

“Nelyo. Maybe you can talk to my father about this...he may have some ideas.” Fingon offered. 

“Alright,” Maedhros replied. “For now I just want to practice a bit.” 

He stood up and picked up his sword that he kept near his bed. Fingon stood up and followed him, Maedrhos looked at him and asked, “Where are you going?”

“I am coming with you it’s boring to spar alone.” Fingon replied. Maedhros just smiled and walked with Fingon outside. They spared for sometime and Maedhros had gotten faster and stronger with his left hand from hours and hours of practice he had put in. They went at it for some time before Maedhros had to stop and sit down and rest. As he sat there his mind went over a lot of things. He knew what he wanted to do about this choice of kingship but a part of him was telling him that this was a rash choice. At the same time he had a feeling he knew what his answer would be. He knew what it will be for sometime but he still was unsure and hesitant. 

He wished he could speak to his mother again. It had been sometime since he spoke with his mother, he could use her advice and comfort. He would want to be able to speak with his father but how his father used to be not how he became later on. He closed his eyes and laid back against the tree, he wished he could just have some advice. 

“Nelyo?” He opened his eyes and sat up as he saw Maglor there. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Just tried,” he replied. “I was sparing with Finno.” 

“Where did he go?” Maglor asked looking around. 

“To get some water for us,” Maedhros replied. 

“Ah,” He answered. “Do you want to go rest or are you going to continue?” 

“Continue,” Maedhros said. 

“Alright. Do you mind if I watch you both?” he asked. 

“Of course not,” Maedhros replied. Maglor smiled and sat by him and he talked with him for a bit and played the most recent song he was working on, on his harp. When Fingon came back Maedhros took a drink and then got back to sparring with Fingon. Maglor watched them until he was called away to take care of some matter. Then shortly after Maglor left Maedhros did stop for that day, he was tired and Fingon saw it. So he sent Maedhros to rest. Maedhros wasn’t in any mood to argue with his cousin so he just trudged back to his room. He laid on his bed and closed his eyes and fell asleep faster than he thought he would. 

* * *

_ Maedhros blinked as he looked around and found that he was back in that world of swirling white mist. He turned and hugged his mother who was behind him. Nerdanel hugged back and when Maedhros took a step back she put a hand to his cheek and smiled. “Look at you,” She said. “You have that light back in your eyes.”  _

_ “I do?” Maedhros asked.  _

_ “Yes,” She said.  _

_ “I wish I felt like I did,” He replied. She took his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “You will,” She said.  _

_ He smiled and hugged her again but pulled back after a moment. “Mamil? How did you know I wanted to talk with you?” He asked.  _

_ Nerdanel just smiled and said, “Do not worry about that.”  _

_ Maedhros found himself laughing since he realized where his brothers got that glint in their eyes when they did something that could have gotten them in trouble. He also assumed he had a similar look in his eyes but either way it was nice to see that they did have somethings they all took after their mother in. She just sat down and patted the ground next to her. Maedhros sat by her and she took his hand. “Now. What’s wrong?” She asked.  _

_ “I don’t think I can lead the Noldor anymore...I just can’t. I tried but I just can’t. I don’t want to let anyone down but I can’t lead all those people anymore. Not in the way they need,” He said.  _

_   
_ _ “You will not let anyone down,” She said. “It’ll take more wisdom to know when you can’t do something rather than to know when you can.”  _

_ “But what will they think? What would the enemies think?” He asked.  _

_ “They will think whatever they want too or need too. As for our enemies, do not worry what they will think. They may say you are a coward or foolish but if you truly know that you can’t handle the weight of the crown then you have more wisdom than their small minds can even start to imagine.” She replied.  _

_ “What about my brothers? I do not think Curufin or possibly Celegorm will agree with me giving over the crown to Fingolfin’s family rather than passing it to Maglor or one of them.” Maedhros said. He then paused then looked down at the ground as he realized by saying this he admitted he knew what he wanted to do all along. Yet, his mother just ignored it and was quiet for a few moments as she thought. _

_ “Maitimo?” She asked. “Why do you want the crown to go to Fingolfin instead of one of your brothers?”  _

_ Maedhros was quiet before he said, “The oath will hold us back or force us to put our people in a dangerous spot. I can’t let all of them be harmed over the oath when they did not take it.”  _

_ “Then they will understand,” She said. “I did not raise any of my sons to be that foolish.”  _

_ “Are you sure?” Maedhros asked.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Maitimo,” She said her voice scolding him gently but she wore a smile as Maedhros gave a smirk.  _

_ “They care more about you and will respect your choice far more than they care about titles.” She said. Maedhros smiled and hugged her tightly.  _

_ “Thank you Mamil,” He said.  _

_ “Of course,” She said hugging him tightly. She then looked at him and said, “My dear little flame…you are just a wise king as your grandfather was. I am very proud of you.”  _

_ “Thank you,” He said softly as he swallowed a lump in his throat. She smiled and kissed his head. Maedhros smiled and just hugged her until he felt his body slowly drift awake and his eyes open.  _

* * *

When he woke up he had someone call his brothers to his room. As he waited he took a deep breath and smiled at his mother’s words. He could deal with this and his brothers would understand. At least he knew Maglor would and knowing him he’ll find some way to convince the others. 


	21. Chapter 21

“You’re giving up your crown!” Curufin practically shouted. The others just stood in silence and looked at Maedhros who was sitting upright in bed. “How could you?”

“I have to,” Maedhros said. “I can’t be king...I couldn’t hold this title,”

“But you are giving to Fingolfin?! Why?!” Curufin said.

“Since he’ll be the best leader for our people,” Maedhros said. “I am sorry but none of us can...or should have the title of Highking. Our will put the people we have to lead into harm's way,”

“But this is our family's title!” Curufin argued.

Maedhros stood up and gave Curufin a hard look and said, “Yes. They are family too. Curufinwe, I have made my decision and based on everything I went through over these last long years...I feel it is the right one. So, if you feel that you can lead the kingdom, reclaim the silmarils, and protect the people without getting them killed over this cursed Oath...then go ahead. Take the crown.”

Curufin stared at him in shock since over these past few months Maedhros hadn’t spoken with such seriousness or power. Curufin just stared at him and then turned away and stormed out. Once he left Maedhros swayed on his feet and was caught by Maglor.

“Maedhros?” Maglor asked with concern.

Maedhros shook his head and stood up and moved back to the bed and held his head. It took a lot to get that confidence and power to get Curufin to settle down. He looked at the others and Celegorm sighed and said, “Don’t worry. I can talk to him,”

“You aren’t upset?” He asked.

Celegorm shrugged and rubbed Huan’s head and said, “A bit but I figure that you did think this out. Besides, can you really see me being a king. I am a hunter, I go stir crazy just from staying indoors for a few hours.”

“He’s right,” added the twins together. Maedhros chuckled and nodded his thanks at Celegorm who just smiled and walked out of the room. He was soon followed by the twins and once they left Caranthir came over and gave Maedhros a quick hug. When he let go he said, “You did what you think is right. I trust your decision.”

When he left Maedhros looked at Maglor and said, “What about you?”

“I trust you Nelyo,” Maglor said. “I don’t care about our kingship...I just want to make sure that you and the others will stay safe.”

“Thank you. Now, I just need to pass it over to Uncle Fingolfin.” Maedhros said standing up.

“You mean HALF-Uncle Fingolfin,” Maglor corrected lightly giving Maedhros a slight nudge causing the red-haired elf to laugh and shake his head. That was still a joke among him and his brothers. Since their father always corrected them to say ‘half-uncle’ since they were not fully related so he made a big point about correcting them.

“Do you need any help there?” Maglor asked.

“No. I am good,” Maedhros said and walked towards Fingonfil’s room. Maedhros was breathing steadily as he walked there since he still felt nervous and hesitant. He knew his uncle would most likely accept it but he didn’t know what he was going to say.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door when he got there. After a few moments he heard, “Come in.”

Maedhros stepped into his uncle’s room and Fingolfin stood up instantly from his desk and smiled. “Nelyo? What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you Uncle,” He said the worried voice he had from when he first came back from Angband started to resurface slowly. He blinked and looked at his shaking hands. Fingolfin came over and closed the door leading him into the room and sitting him down on a comfortable chair.

“Easy. Give yourself a few moments,” Fingolfin said. Maedhros nodded, unable to speak for several minutes. After a few long moments of Maedhros looking at the floor and breathing deeply he looked at his uncle with tearing eyes.

“Uncle Fingolfin?” He asked. His voice sounded very soft, “I have a request...please...please take over the title of Highking. I can’t...with everything that happened. I just can’t...please...I can’t bear that weight. I...am not as strong as my father was. Please…”

Fingolfin looked moved to the floor and looked at Maedhros as he hung his head sitting there. Guilt was concoming his face. “I will but are you-”

“I am sure! I just can’t…” Maedhros said, shaking his head.

“Alright. I will take the crown from you.” Fingolfin said. Maedhros nodded and thanked him. Yet, when he stood up his legs gave out on him and fell in the chair.

“Why don’t you rest here for a while Nelyo.” Fingolfin said as he grabbed a blanket and offered it to him. Maedhros nodded and took and settled back.

“Do you want me to find Fingon?” He asked. Maedhros nodded as he looked at the fire that was going in the fireplace. Fingolfin patted his shoulder and left the room. Once he was alone, Maedhros let out a

huge sigh and closed his eyes. When he did his mind drifted back to a memory of when he was in Angband. 


	22. Chapter 22

When Maedhros opened his eyes he saw Fingon giving him a worried look while holding his hand. He had no memory of the flash back other than pain and blood everywhere. He swallowed and asked, “What happened?”

“You were screaming and struggling a lot,” Fingon answered calmly. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

  
“I don’t remember what it was about.” He said. Subconsciously his hand went to his side where there was a large wound. He then paled and fell back against the chair breathing harshly. 

  
“Nelyo?” Fingon asked concerned. 

  
“Please...please...just make it stop,” He gasped. Fingon stood up quickly realizing Maedhros fell back into one of his flashbacks. He hurried to the other room and told his father to grab the box that Mildor left of herbs for Maedros. Fingon then went back to his friends side as he sat there biting his lip trying not to scream. 

“Mayo. It’s okay,” Fingon said softly. Maedhros just sat there staring through Fingon with tears running down his face. Fingon sighs and held Maedhros’s hand while his father went to get the herb box. After a few more moments his father came back. Fingon rushed over and looked inside, he pulled out a small bag and brought it over to Maedhros. He held it by his nose and mouth. 

Maedhros blinked his shoulders relaxing and he blinked as a light haze came over his eyes. He turned his head to look at Fingon and asked slowly, “Finno?” 

“Hey. Sorry, I had you smell one of the herbs that Mildor left. I was getting concerned.” Fingon said. Maedhros nodded and rubbed his side and looked at Fingon. 

“Am I bleeding?” He asked. Fingon looked over and shook his head. 

“It feels like I am,” Maedhros replied, his voice going very light. Fingon gave a small sigh that the drug worked but he still felt bad about forcing it on him. 

“Well. You aren’t,” Fingon said. “Now come on. Let’s get you back to your room.” 

“Okay,” Maedhros said and Fingon helped him stand and kept him upright with Fingolfin’s help as they brought him back to his room. They sat Maedhros down by the window and Fingolfin left and Fingon sat down by his friend. 

“I feel funny,” Maedhros said while moving his hand about. 

“I know, it won’t last for so long though,” Fingon said.

“Okay,” Maedhros said lightly still moving his hand. Fingon reached over and gently pushed his hand down. Maedhros blinked and looked at him. 

“Just relax.” Fingon instructed. Maedhros nodded and laid back on the couch. He was quiet before he put his hand to his side again.

“Why am I so weak?” Maedhros asked softly. “I can’t be strong like my father...or wise like my mother and grandfather used to be.” 

“You aren’t weak Nelyo.” Fingon said. “You are brave, strong, and very wise.”

“How?” 

  
“Well. You know that you can’t have the responsibility of king. That takes wisdom. You are still sitting here across from me even after everything. That takes bravery and strength.” Fingon said. “You have always been strong and brave. Don’t you remember when I was little I always claimed I wanted to be big and strong like my ‘Big Cousin Mayo!’” 

Maedhros smiled and nodded at the memory. “You were small for an elfling,” Maedhros said looking over at him. 

“Well I still am slightly short for an elf but I do not care.” He said, shaking his head. 

Maedhros smiled but his smile soon melted away and he hugged Fingon tightly. “Finno...I am sorry.” 

“Sorry? For what?” Fingon asked as he hugged back. 

“The ships…it wasn’t my idea. I tried to stop them...but...I just-” Yet he was cut off by Fingon breaking away and covering his mouth. 

  
“Shh. I know. Don’t beat yourself up about it,” Fingon said. “I was never upset over the burning of the ships. I know Uncle Feanor and I had a feeling he may pull something like that.” 

“You...aren’t mad?” Maedhros asked.

“Nelyafinwe. When have you known me to get upset? And when I have gotten upset, isn’t it painfully clear?” Fingon asked laughter and amusement clear on his face.

“Yes,” Maedhros replied. “I am sorry.” 

“Nelyo. You have nothing to be sorry for. Now, rest up and let the drug work itself through your system.” Fingon instructed. Maedhros nodded and settled back once more and looked out the window. It was quiet for a while until Maedhros said, “I feel funny.” 

Fingon just giggled and moved Maedhros’s hand back down. “I know,” He said with a smirk.


	23. Chapter 23

It was a few days after Fingolfin's coronations as Fingon and Maedhros were sparing in the back. "Are you sure you want to leave?" Fingon asked as he took a few steps forward.

"Yes, I am sure. We are leaving in a week," Maedhros replied as he blocked Fingon's attack.

"Alright but you are always welcome to live here if you want too." Fingon said as he blocked again.

"Thank you," Maedhros said with a smile. The two then contiued to exchange blows but through his hard work Maedhros was able to disarm Fingon. The sword clattered to the ground and Fingon breathed slowly looking a bit surprised as Maedhros had a sword by his neck.

Yet, instead of backing away Maedhros stayed where he was. Fingon frowned and moved away and asked, "Nelyo?"

Maedhros didn't move and his hands shook just stood there. He blinked and shook his head and looked at Fingon. "I am sorry...I kinda blanked." He said.

"It's alright," Fingon said softly and rubbed his shoulder. Maedhros smiled and sat down under a tree letting out a long sigh. Fingon sat next to him and smiled.

"Hey...finno?" Maedhros asked.

"Hmm?" He asked.

"Can you do something for me?"

"Of course,"

"Please stay here for me...your my best friend and without you...I would have been lost." Maedhros said.

"Of course and you're an idiot if you think I'll leave you. Sorry, but you are stuck with me forever," Fingon said with a grin hugging him or rather tackling him to the ground. Maedhros just laughed and pushed Fingon off him. He sat up and looked at Fingon who was just grinning.

"Come on," Maedhros said standing up and grabbing his sword. "Let's go for another round."

"Sure thing," Fingon replied and got into his stance soon followed by Maedhros but once Maedhros was getting ready to block Fingon's attack. Fingon dropped his sword and tacked him in a hug again. Maedhros groaned but couldn't help but laugh...yeah. He was sure stuck with this crazy elf forever.


	24. Epilogue

**Many many years later...**

Maedhros draw his cloak around himself tighter standing on a small hillside overlooking some ruins. He bent down by a large marker that was covered with vinery. He sighed and shook his head feeling a tight pain in his chest. Maedhros opened his mouth but closed it and reached into his cloak pocket and pulled out a small flower.

  
"I know it's silly...but here," Maedhros found himself saying as he placed it on the ground in front of the stone. "I am sorry, Finno. I am sorry I wasn't there for you like you once were for me."

He placed his hand on the stone and closed his eyes tightly finding tears where on them. He just brushed them away and straightened up. "Until next year," He said softly as he turned away mounting his horse and he rode off.

* * *

A few weeks later Maedhros returned home to find Maglor outside with his boys Elros and Elrond outside. Elros and Elrond were running around the yard chasing each other and Elros kept trying to tackle his brother.

Once he dismounted the boys rushed over and hugged his legs. He bent down and patted their heads. "Hello you two," He said.

"Welcome back Uncle Nelyo," Elrond said happily.

"What took you so long? Did you bring us anything?" Elros asked looking up at him with big round eyes.

"Elros. Let your uncle settle down before you bombarded him with questions," Maglor scolded lightly.

"Sorry," Elros said.

  
"It's alright," Maedhros said. "Yet, to answer your questions I didn't bring you anything. It wasn't that kind of trip."

"Oh? What kind of trip was it?" Elros asked.

Maedhros turned away and Elrond nudged his twin and shook his head. Elros's mouth went into an O shape before he hugged his uncle again. "I am sorry Uncle Mae,"

"Go back to your game, enjoy yourselves," Maedhros said to them. The two nodded and ran off once they were gone Maedhros let out a soft sigh. He turned back to his saddle bags and pulled out the things he needed ignoring Maglor's look.

"You didn't sleep did you?" Maglor asked.

"Do I ever?" Maedhros asked in response. Maglor just sighed and placed a hand to his brother's shoulder. Maedhros ignored and sighed softly.

"Nelyo? Do you want to talk-" Maglor started but Maedhros held up his hand.

"Kano. It's been a long trip...I just want to rest and perhaps get a few moments of sleep." Maedhros said.

"Alright. We'll be out here," Maglor said.

"I know," Maedhros replied and stalked into the house. He went to his room placed his stuff down and laid down on his bed. He slid the dagger that was gifted to him long ago under his pillow before he turned to stare at the ceiling. As he laid there he knew he no sleep will come to him but he still lay there. His mind drifted back to a happier time. Yet, that happy memory burned in a fire and slowly faded into a nightmare burned in his mind. Death. Loss. Pain. The memories lingered until Maedhros felt tears on his face.

He swallowed hard and sat up brushing them away. He had tears come but ever since he lost all the family he had besides Maglor. He never actually cried any more, he just couldn't find that strength. He sighed and fell back into bed covering his face with his stubbed arm. He closed his eyes and finally he felt a light sense of sleep start to take hold of him. Yet, that was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. He sat up and called, "Yes?"

  
The door opened and Elros and Elrond came inside holding one of their stuffed animals. They walked over and Elrond handed it over. "Here," He said.

"What's this," Maedhros talking the stuffed animal.

"It's a stuffed animal. We like hugging it when we are sad, it's really nice and soft." Elros said.

"It is alright," Maedhros said handing it back but the two shook their heads.

"No. You can have it, Atar said you are tired and had a long day." Elros added.

"Right. Besides you seem really sad so you can keep it until you're happy." Elrond said. Maedhros smiled a bit and placed it beside him.

"Thank you," Maedhros said with a light smile. The twins both grinned and hugged him tightly. Maedhros hugged them with one arm and when he let go the twins. Both the brothers smiled brightly at him.

"Feel better Uncle Mae," Elros said.

"I'll try Elros," Maedhros said as he settled back. The twins both nodded and left the room, closing the door.

"Night-night," They called as they waved before they left. Maedhros waved and laid down once the door was closed. He looked at the stuffed animal and he chuckled softly as he closed his eyes. He fell asleep as his hand was on the stuffed animal.

* * *

_Maedhros opened his eyes and found a world of rolling light smoke. He looked around and frowned a bit. This was not like most of his dreams like this. He then stiffened when he heard a voice behind him. _ _   
_ _   
_ _"Hello Mayo," Fingon said._

_Maedhros blinked past his tears and ran over. He wrapped his arms around him hugging him close. Fingon smiled and held him hugged back._

_"Finno...I missed you," Maedhros said softly._

_"I missed you to Mayo," Fingon said with a smile._

_"Yet...you...you are gone," Maedhros said as he moved back as he looked at him._

_"I know but I did tell you that I'll always be there if you need me." Said Fingon with a smile. "Lord Mandos and Lord Irmo allowed me to come here. Well come here now at least,"_

_"I am glad you are here, Finno." Maedhros said._

_"Me too. I know a lot of pain has happened but come on. I want to hear all the good things that I have missed." Fingon said._

_"Alright," He said softly. He sat down beside Fingon and he smiled with tears in his eyes. He then went into a story of some happier memories. Fingon just listened with a kind smile. Once he was done Fingon just smiled brightly. Maedhros looked at him and found himself starting to laugh._

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to thank every single one of you for all of your support, votes, comments, and just overall reads on this story. 
> 
> I am so happy you enjoyed it and all of you are just so amazing.   
I really hope you have time to check out more of my stories. 
> 
> Welp that's all and thank you once again for being just so amazing. 
> 
> Bye all!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy the story.  
Comments and Kudos are always appreciated.


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